#this jesse motherfucker needs to die

[harmonicaorange]

tom blyth as billy the kid is so sexy it actually makes my stomach hurt

[marscardigan]

through the valley, part x

ellie williams x reader

through the valley masterlist

summary: what if Joel didn’t lie? what if there were more people immune? more people like ellie? more people like you?

word count: 1.9k

warnings: this fic doesn’t follow the original plot from tlou part II. canon typical violence.

It took Ellie two days to find another clue of you. Another painting of your mother occupied a whole wall in front of her.

May you guide me home.

Her blood ran cold. Not for the bodies beneath the mural, but because the paint was recent, very recent.

You must be closer than she thought. Ellie entered the closer building she found, and in the distance, she saw smoke. A bonfire.

Her nerves took control over her body, and started running towards it. Inside her mind, it couldn't be anybody else, it had to be you. Tears ran through her cheeks after remembering what happened two days before. How Jesse's body still laid on some abandoned house, bled out and cold. How she had to bury him herself, outside a backyard, a single cross with his name on it honor him.

It had to be you, for her sake. If it wasn't you, she'd rather die than coming back to Jackson. Death now sounded more welcoming than ever. But fate had other plans for Ellie Williams.

Infected came from everywhere, collapsing every possible exit. No ammo nor guns could save her. But she still tried, unleashing all the rage she caged deep inside her chest for all those days. She killed all of them thinking of Jesse, Joel, Tess, Riley, you. Everyone who left her to mourn, alone in this sick world. She finished eighteen infected by herself.

But one motherfucker escaped her bullet, throwing both of them through a broken window. Shattered glass melted with the flesh of her back, preventing her to move from it. She closed her eyes, greeting death for real this time. A grunt sounded then, the head of the infected falling above her chest. Ellie threw the body away from her, and then she saw it.

An arrow perforated the infected's head. Your arrow.

Her head moved with easy towards the door, so fast her head hurt. And there you were. As alive as she must be right now.

Ellie whispered your name as an oath, repeating it over and over again. Your silhouette started to get blurry in her sight, but your touch felt real, and so did your concerned tone.

She didn't hear any of it, she used her last strength to curl her head into your chest. Then she finally allowed herself to rest between your arms, even if you were freezing.

By the time Ellie started waking up, she noticed a few things. You looked skinnier than usual, your clothes were all dirty and ripped.

Ellie didn't dare to speak at first, afraid it may be a dream after all. You were too far for her liking, quiet too. She rose up slowly, wincing as her wounds pulled at her skin. Her eyes scanned the cabin, taking in the dusty wooden walls and the faint smell of smoke from the fireplace. Finally, her gaze settled on you.

You were leaning against the opposite wall, arms crossed, face blank. But your eyes were heavy, dark circles underlining them like bruises. You were wearing a floral dress, the same one you wore when left Jackson, and the same old doc martens she found you all those days before. You had snow on your hair. Had you'd just been out? Did you look paler, too?

The silence felt almost suffocating, pressing down on both of you.

"Hey," Ellie finally croaked, her voice rough. She cleared her throat. "I… I found you."

You didn’t respond right away. She could feel your eyes look at the dried blood on her clothes, and the fresh cuts on her face. "What the hell are you doing here, Ellie?"

Her chest tightened. She’d played this moment over and over in her head, imagined you running into her arms, crying out in relief, maybe even kissing her like you used to. This cold distance wasn’t in any of those fantasies.

"I... I needed to find you. I thought—" Her voice broke, and she looked down, her fingers twisting in the blanket. "I thought you were dead."

You looked away, jaw clenching. "I should be."

The words hung in the air, heavy and cruel. They twisted something deep in Ellie’s chest. She opened her mouth to argue, to say something, but nothing came out.

She wanted to tell you about Jesse, about how much she needed your warmth right now. But you looked so different, and still when she locked her gaze with yours, she could feel the fear underneath.

"Are you going to tell me what are you doing here...or you'll keep lying?"

Ellie looked down, her fingers unconsciously gripping the fabric of the blanket. Her voice was low when she spoke. “I… I’m going to finish it.”

“Finish what?”

She looked up, eyes hardening. “Abby. I’m going to kill her.”

Your expression dropped. “Ellie...”

"I need to do it. If I don't regret is going to eat me alive."

"Revenge is eating you alive." you answered harshly, suddenly angry at her. "You really believe that killing her is going to bring back peace into your world, or what? You think it’ll make you feel better?"

She looked at you with hurt, "You promised me."

"I told you lots of things I did not mean back there." you started, the numbness of your head only making you angrier. "Look at me. I killed Isaac, and I'm still a lunatic with guilt inside. Killing them only makes us like them."

"Then what am I supposed to do, huh? I can't eat, can't sleep..." was she crying? She couldn't feel her face. She couldn't feel any part of her body now. Ellie only could look at you in awe, wanting your warmth more than ever.

Your chest tightened, the ache almost unbearable. "Fine. I'll come with you." You crossed the room, sitting beside her on the mattress. She tensed but didn’t pull away.

"You still have the cross I gave you" you murmured, Ellie's eyelashes kissing your lips from the closeness between you.

She didn't answer your comment, instead she leaned to kiss you. She kissed you so desperately, as if it was her last meal on earth. You kissed her back, the unease from your chest dissolving for a moment. You were freezing, your fingers shivering as they undressed Ellie's top.

"Promise me this doesn't mean anything." Ellie whispered between kisses, as her hand reached for your bare chest.

"I promise."

You were always such a good liar.

The snow fell quietly outside the cabin, a thick blanket of white muffling the world. Ellie woke up to the chill seeping through the cracks in the wooden walls. Her body ached, and her back throbbed, but the pain felt distant, muted somehow. She blinked at the dim light filtering through the window and reached for you.

But the mattress beside her was empty.

Ellie sat up, the pain in her back long gone. The room was still, the cold air biting. Your jacket was gone, along with your backpack. Her mind raced. You wouldn’t just leave. Not again. Not after… She looked at the mattress, the indent where your body had been. It was cold. You must have been gone for hours.

She ran outside, snow crunching beneath her boots, calling out your name with all the strength left in her body. She collapsed to her knees, the snow soaking through her pants. “Please…” Her voice cracked, breaking. “I can’t… I can’t lose you again.”

The snow-covered ground revealed no footprints. No broken branches. No sign that you were ever there. Ellie’s heart raced, a cold sweat breaking out on her skin.

You were always quiet on your feet, but not this quiet. Not this invisible.

She ran, her legs burning, lungs screaming for air. The world spun around her, snowflakes dancing in her vision. She could hear your voice, faint and distant, whispering her name. She followed the sound, chasing shadows.

But there was nothing. No one.

It wasn’t until she saw the cross that she realized the truth.

It stood crooked in the snow, a simple wooden marker. The grave was shallow, covered in a thin layer of ice. The snow had preserved it, kept it untouched by the world. Your name was carved into the wood, the letters jagged and uneven. Ellie's own handwriting.

The snow felt colder now, the wind biting at Ellie’s skin. She knelt in front of the crooked cross, fingers numb as they traced the jagged letters. Her body shook, a deep, hollow ache echoing through her chest.

"Ellie!"

She flinched, the voice cutting through the silence. Turning slowly, she saw Jesse standing a few yards away, his face pale, eyes wide with relief and panic.

"Ellie, what the hell… I’ve been looking for you for days!" He stumbled through the snow, his boots crunching against the frozen ground. "You just disappeared. Didn't know where you went."

She blinked at him, her head spinning. "No, I… I was with… We were…" Her gaze flicked back to the cross, her heart thudding painfully. "I was with her. I… I just…"

Jesse followed her stare, his brows furrowing. His face went pale when he saw the grave. "She… She didn’t make it out of Jackson."

Ellie shook her head, stepping back, her body swaying. "No… No, that’s not… She was with me. We were… We were together." Her voice cracked, desperation clawing at her throat. "She saved me. She was there. She was real."

Jesse’s eyes softened, pain flickering across his face. "Ellie… You left Jackson with me. I… Ithought you were dead. You’ve been gone for days. We were supposed to look out for her, but you ran off at night."

"No." The world spun, her vision blurring. "No, she was with me. She was real. She…" she kept repeating it, as if it would be true if she kept saying it. "She was with me."

Jesse knelt beside her, his hands trembling as he grabbed her shoulders. "Ellie, listen to me. She didn’t make it. She died outside Jackson. You… You found her, but it was too late. You buried her."

His words echoed, looping over and over. Buried her. Buried her. Buried her. Ellie’s chest tightened, her throat closing up. Her gaze fell to her hands, still caked with dirt, the snow stained brown.

She buried you.

The memory slammed into her, brutal and cold. Digging through the frozen earth, her fingers numb and bleeding. Laying you down, your skin pale and cold. Your eyes closed, your lips still, no breath escaping.

You were wearing that floral dress, too thin against the biting cold, its fabric clinging to you, failing to cover the scars she knew you hated showing. Ellie’s chest tightened at the sight, knowing how much you preferred to keep them hidden. She remembered wrapping your jacket around you, trying to shield you one last time, pressing a kiss to your forehead, her tears freezing to her face.

She also recalls carving your name into the cross, her hands shaking so badly the letters came out crooked. She remembered screaming, the sound ripping through her, echoing through the empty woods.

You were gone.

You’d been gone the whole time.

Ellie’s body shook, her sobs muffled by the snow. "No… No, no, no…" Her fingers dug into the frozen ground, clawing at the earth. "She was with me. She was right here. She… She saved me. She…"

Jesse pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly as she fell apart. "I’m sorry, Ellie. I’m so sorry."

You were gone, and she’d been chasing a ghost. Imagining your voice, feeling your touch, hearing your laugh… A lie she created to survive the loneliness. The guilt. The grief. The reality.

It was all in her head.

Everything.

if you read this far, thank you so so much! You can read my other stuff here.

taglist!

@vahnilla @antobooh @liasxeatt @rhyrhy @autisticintr0vert @culuvr @sevyscoven @alexandra-001

[lake-cosay]

so bc i like hurt/comfort and im a medical nerd i wanted to yell about how jesse got Very Hurt in that scene right before he and lake get off the train. obviously to an extent they're just using cartoon logic but i at the same time, jesse is clearly supposed to be hurt, the messy hair and the scratches are visual shorthand for it. not to mention how he doesn't get up right away and even when he does he's clearly rattled

to be clear i'm not a medical professional just a nerd, feel free to correct me

^ here it's possible since the flecs are pretty damn strong that him aggresively grabbing jesse like that could result in some significant bruising. hypothetically sieve could have probably broken all his arm bones but i don't think that would've happened unless he was purposefully doing it. it's like handling a small animal; just because you have enough strength to break a bone, doesn't mean it's going to happen, even on accident.

^ given that the throw had enough force to crack the screen, jesse almost definitely had some cracked ribs, likely lower ribs. and while i've never had one myself rib injuries hurt like a motherfucker. but since he was able to get back up and move, it's very unlikely his ribs punctured anything which is good bc if they had he'd prob die without an ambulance. also, depending on what part of his face hit first, he could have a broken nose. or, say his chin hit first, that could probably cause lasting jaw pain (basically a shock injury) and/or he could have bit his tongue or lip hard enough to draw blood.

ALSO also, if the top of his head hit the screen that's probably already a mild concussion, not to mention:

^ definitely a concussion. him hitting his back first definitely is better for his head, but still a concussion. however, the fact that he doesn't appear to have lost consciousness and was able to rather quickly stand are definitely good signs. not sure if him taking a minute or so to speak is normal for a concussion, or if that was more just him emotionally being in shock vs literal brain damage.

after a little research, it seems he had a mild TBI, since he didn't lose consciousness. mild TBIs heal fully within 3-6 months, but since he feel from so high and probably hit his head twice i could see it being a moderate TBI, which. unfortunately has a worse prognosis. my diagnosis is mild-moderate TBI, about 6 months to heal, but even after that still struggles with more mild symptoms sometimes (headaches, dizziness, nausea, fatigue).

NOW. his poor back. the good thing about spine is they move, and i have to say personally i've fallen off a horse and onto my back in much the same pose and i was just sore for a day or two, but tbf that was like a 5 foot fall, this is. more than that.

the good news is, if he was gonna be paralyzed from that (which could've happened if his spinal cord got fucked it), it would've happened. since he's clearly able to move, his back should be fine. it is possible he could've broken a vertebrae, but again, the back is flexible.

"but if he was so hurt why was he still able to get up and run!" adrenaline. that shit does wild things to your body. the whole point of your body releasing adrenaline is to help you get out of situations like this, to keep going long enough to get to safety. it also blocks pain signals. meaning until it wears off, jesse might not feel anything.

he and lake were in a survival situation. it was absolutely life or death for both of them.

to sum up, he definitely has a concussion (mild-moderate), cracked ribs (i doubt they're fully broken bc i think you need more force for them to break all the way through), and plenty of bruises.

it's possible he broke his nose, split open his lip or tongue, or got a shock injury to his jaw.

i think his biggest problem is his ribs. cracked ribs make breathing hurt, weather it's deep or shallow. my heacanon is that a few minutes after he and lake get off the train, he sits down and lake realizes "oh yeah he got kinda fucked up" and he just looks. like he Hurts and lake's like "are you. okay?" and jesse's like "breathing hurts" and then it's a whirlwind of jesse reuniting with his parents, trying to explain everything while In Pain, introducing lake, his parents realizing he doesn't look so good and eventually deciding we should probably take him to the hospital, meanwhile lake is terrified bc suddenly they're in the back of the car with jesse's parents who they just met holding jesse's hand as they drive him to the hospital and everything's so real now, they're going out in public already, it hasn't even been an hour since they got off the train, but jesse is hurt, and they're not leaving him.

i also think that well. jesse has lake to help him. so even if his injuries had long-term/permanent effects, lake's there, and the two of them are going to have a lot of time to adjust once things settle down.

if i had the patience i'd write a fic about that, and jesse and lake have to navigate everything right after the train while jesse's in the hospital. tbf, i think he'd be discharged after like 1 night but still need help: be on pain meds, not be able to do much physically bc his body needs lots of rest, being confused and naueseous from the concussion. etc. if anyone does want to write that, lmk

and as i said at the beginning, feel free to correct me on anything. my only relevant personal experience is falling off a horse and (separate incident) falling and all my 190lbs of body landing on the side of my foot that broke.

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

Solar Opposites in Mighty Solars Issue #4: “Fighting for Family” Ch. 1

On a Misty midnight, Chester Basil and his mafia crew were busy counting money they mugged.

Chester Basil: This has been a long time coming, fellas. Three years on the plates alone, but I think you'll find the product was worth the wait. Go ahead. filtered Take a good look, boys...

Goon #1: Sheesh, Mr. Basil, I can't warn the difference.

Goon #2: I can’t either!

Chester Basil: You'd need one of them neutron microscopes, mate. It's identical down to Ben Franklin's stubble.

Basil plucks it from the goon's hand. As he steps over to the suitcase and places the bill back with the stacks of other bills.

Chester Basil: I want it laundered through the casino at a half mil a week. Three-quarter mil by March. Anybody has a problem with that?

Mob Members: Oh no. Not at all

Then suddenly, Quasarblast breaks through the window as the mob gasp.

Mob: Hey! What? It’s Quasarblast!

Korvo Solar-Opposites/Quasarblast: It’s over, Mr. Basil.

Chester Basil: Oh shit! I’m getting out of here! Man, attack!

No sooner does the first two goons have their pistols out then Quasarblast turns invisible and kicks the guards’ ass as they cry out in pain.

Korvo Solar-Opposites/Quasarblast: You’re gonna have to try a little harder than that!

Another goon takes a swipe at him from the side. Quasarblast turns invisible to fool the goon and then turns visible again decks the goon with a left. Another from behind, Quasarblast brings up his elbow to the fellow's jaw. A third goon literally jumps on his back.

Goon #3: battle cry

Quasarblast flips him over into Goon #1, who has retrieved his gun and is about to fire just as Goon #3 comes smashing in. The gun goes off harmlessly as they demolish a glass display of bric-a-brac on Basil as the fighting continues off-screen, he sweeps up the briefcase and bolts out the door. But then, Quasarblast sees him trying to escape and turns invisible again.

Chester Basil: the suitcase is snatched out of his hand and it starts floating suddenly What the fuck is this witchcraft?!

And then, Quasarblast knocks out Basil and then turns visible again as he ties up Basil and his goons and turns him to the police.

Korvo Solar-Opposites/Quasarblast: You just met the wrath of Quasarblast!

Police Officer: Thank you Quasarblast! You done it again!

Korvo Solar-Opposites/Quasarblast: No problem and oh hey! Meet you at the ceremony tonight!

Police Officer: Sure be there!

Quasarblast winks and flies off.

Later…

Quasarblast made it home and head inside without anyone looking as he turns back into Korvo Solar-Opposites, then he sees Terry and turns invisible. He then surprise Terry with an invisible kiss as the two husbands moan and Korvo turns visible again while they blush lovingly. Terry laughs.

Terry Solar-Opposites: So, how is my favorite superhero?

Korvo Solar-Opposites: Doing fine my sweet Shlorpian.

The two husbands kiss again. Then, Yumyulack and Jesse then started playing Quasarblast with Jesse wearing a mask that look like Quasarblast’s mask and Yumyulack playing as a super villain.

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: Die motherfucker! Die!

Jesse Solar-Opposites: pretends to turn invisible Boom! I’m invisible!

Phoebe MacCarthy: offscreen Kids, you damn better not be wrestling!

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: Uh, no we’re not!

Jesse Solar-Opposites: We’re being careful!

Then, an alarm goes off on Korvo’s phone as he smirks and turns back into Quasarblast.

Korvo Solar-Opposites/Quasarblast: Duty calls!

Korvo, now Quasarblast, flies off and made it to the ceremony, which is happening live on camera. The audience cheer for him as he prepare to make his speech.

Korvo Solar-Opposites/Quasarblasr: Good evening citizens. It’s so nice to see you all on this day.

Reporter: And it’s so great to see you too. So, tell us. How does it feel to be accomplished?

Quasarblast grows confused.

Korvo Solar-Opposites/Quasarblast: Uh what do you mean?

Reporter: I mean during those time you fought more bad guys, you’ve been pulling amazing stunts. Have you done it all by yourself?

Quasarblast then realizes his whole family is watching, who are confused. Then, Quasarblast looks down and realizes he must do the right thing. Quasarblast laughs nervously.

Korvo Solar-Opposites/Quasarblast: Actually, I can’t take credit. My family helped me.

The crowd’s gasp in shock, but then grows touched as they feel their heart’s warming up and truly understand what he meant.

Crowd: Aaaw.

Meanwhile at the Solars’ house…

Terry Solar-Opposites: Aaw. Korvy. That’s so sweet.

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: I guess he wanted us to have credit too.

Yumyulack sniffs and Jesse teases him.

Jesse Solar-Opposites: I saw that tough guy.

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: laughs nervously Nuh uh! You’re crying! wipes a tear nervously

Phoebe MacCarthy: terrified Oh shit, he shouldn’t have said that.

Terry looks confused.

Terry Solar-Opposites: Why?!

Phoebe MacCarthy: Because, now people think there are more Mighty Solars out there! They think Quasarblast has a family of other alien heroes!

Terry gasps.

Pupa Solar-Opposites: Oh no!

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites and Jesse Solar-Opposites: Oh shit!

Back at the ceremony…

Korvo Solar-Opposites/Quasarblast: It’s true. My husband, three kids and nanny helps me out whenever I need them. Because, they’re like my strength, without them I am nothing. Because, I love them all unconditionally.

Quasarblast is trying hard not to panic.

Person #1: No way! You just got here and your family are supers too? Where are they?

Quasarblast gets nervous.

Korvo Solar-Opposites/Quasarblast: Oh uh, they’re not ready to come out yet. They just got their powers and are uh waiting for the right time…?

People: Oooooh. Why didn’t you say so? Yeah.

Person #2: Sounds good enough to me!

Reporter: Well there you have it folks? They are more Mighty Solars out there? And if they are, who are they?

Quasarblast leaves and groans in frustration.

Later at home…

Korvo is sitting on the couch remorsful while Phoebe, Yumyulack, Jesse and Pupa sit down next to him in concern.

Korvo Solar-Opposites: Why did I say that?!

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: Aw cheer up Korvo. I think what you did was brave. At least no one found out about your identity.

Jesse Solar-Opposites: Thanks for giving us credit Korvo. That was really sweet.

Korvo sighs.

Korvo Solar-Opposites: I know, but everyone believes that Quasarblast has a family that are heroes.

Jesse looks concerned.

Phoebe MacCarthy: But they don’t know about your identity. That’s all that matters. I think you did the right thing by giving us credit. That was one of the honorable things a superhero will do

Jesse Solar-Opposites: Besides, we may not be superheroes. But, I’m sure one day, we’ll have our own powers and fight right beside one day.

Korvo smiles.

Korvo Solar-Opposites: Thanks guys.

Jesse Solar-Opposites: Come here you big lug.

The family then gets in a group hug when suddenly…

Terry Solar-Opposites: offscreen Oh, we’re having a group hug?! Me next! Me next!

Korvo Solar-Opposites: Alright, Terry you can join on the- cries out in shock

Yumyulack gasps.

Pupa Solar-Opposites: Terry?

Terry Solar-Opposites: What?

Jesse Solar-Opposites: Jesus Jessica Parker!

Phoebe MacCarthy: Oh… my… God…

Korvo Solar-Opposites: Terry, don’t freak out but-

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: YOU’RE A FUCKING HUMAN!

Suddenly, a human’s hands was shown as Terry’s gasp was heard. Then, the camera shifts towards a mirror where it shows reflection of Terry, now a human. Terry screams.

Human Terry Solar-Opposites: Oh my God… I look amazing! The Solars got confused Wow. You gotta touch these ears! I can’t believe I got a nose, and a hair, and dick and a shlong!

Korvo covers his mouth in shock.

Korvo Solar-Opposites: Oh… my poor darling… what has happened to you? It’s my fault! starts crying I shouldn’t known! I-I-

Human Terry Solar-Opposites: Hey hey. Why the tears, boo?

Korvo Solar-Opposites: I am so sorry Terry. If I hadn’t been so distracted as Quasarblast and stood up for you and-

Human Terry kisses Korvo.

Human Terry Solar-Opposites: hugs Korvo Shh… it’s okay sweetie… it’s okay…

Pupa Solar-Opposites: Yay!

Jesse Solar-Opposites: I can’t believe my daddy is a human! This is so cool!

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: Holy shit! Do you have a butthole?!

Korvo Solar-Opposites: NO! IT’S NOT COOL! THIS IS A SERIOUS SITUATION! IT’S NOT LIKE HE CAN JUST TURN BACK INTO A SHLORPIAN!

Suddenly, Terry did turn back to his normal Shlorpian self, much to the other’s shock and surprise.

Korvo Solar-Opposites: Whuh? How?

Terry Solar-Opposites: I dunno. It’s just a cool trick I learned.

Korvo then gets out a scanning device and goes surprised.

Korvo Solar-Opposites: Holy shit. I think this is a natural Shlorpian reaction on being on the planet for too long. The form must’ve taken up a unique shape shifting ability on what planet they have been on.

Pupa gasps.

Jesse Solar-Opposites: No way. I have no idea we can do that.

Terry Solar-Opposites: Well, that’s what I get for succumbing to the temptish. Wait, does the Pupa have one?

The Pupa starts straining much to Korvo’s discomfort.

Korvo Solar-Opposites: Oh my goodness! Pupa, are you okay?

Suddenly, the Pupa started floating and glowing as he screams a little and turns into a human. The Solars gasp because as they open their eyes, the Pupa has turn into a human toddler girl.

Phoebe MacCarthy: Aaaw. That’s so adorable!

Korvo faints. Then, he wakes up upon seeing Human Pupa looking at his reflection.

Human Pupa Solar-Opposites: Pigtails!

Yumyulack Solar Opposites: Why is the Pupa’s form a girl?

Jesse Solar-Opposites: D’aw, it’s so cute!

Korvo Solar-Opposites: I don’t know. Wait. Does that mean I could have one?!

Jesse-Solar Opposites: uses the scanner Oh, you’ll have the ability to turn human in 16 days.

Korvo Solar-Opposites: Oh, well what about you two?

Jesse then scans her body.

Jesse Solar-Opposites: Hooray! In five days! I can’t wait to see what mine looks like.

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: And me?

Phoebe MacCarthy: scans Yumyulack Oh, in 11 days.

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: God damn it!

Korvo sighs.

Korvo Solar-Opposites: Well, I supposed this could work as new civilian identities. Because, with me as Quasarblast, I don’t think we should walk around Earth anymore as aliens. It’s the only way guys. I hope you’re not disappointed.

Yumyulack Solar-Opposites: Are you nuts?! This is awesome!

Terry hugs Korvo.

Terry Solar-Opposistes: Korvy, whatever comes when the rest of you develop the ability of turning into humans, we’ll get through it. Together.

Korvo Solar-Opposites: Oh. Come here you.

The two husbands then embrace in a kiss while the kids, after Pupa turns back into his normal Pupa self, and Phoebe hugs them

Korvo Solar-Opposites: Besides, what’s the worst that can happen?

Special thanks to @avaveevo, @asikreading, @themagicwolf6677, @king-of-squishmallows and all of my watchers for their ideas and support.

[skaruresonic]

"Jesse what are you doing!?"

"Yo mr.White! I'm here with your collection of Memory Cards!"

"Jesse...Jesse what do you think you're doing...? Jesse one of those Memory Cards has a perfect save file of SA2! A rank on all Missions, so many hours playing Chao Garden, I have all the Emblems, so many hours playing that game do you even understand how much I've accomplished!?"

"Yeah, and now if you don't get here in time I'm gonna start burning every one of these cards, so sooner or later it'll be the turn for that one special save file!"

"Jesse, Jesse please. My cancer's coming back, I need that completed save file for my family"

"It's too late for that now bitch! Oh man, look at all those Emblems burnin'! Hell yeah!"

"JESSE NO!!"

I love the implication that Walt's "I watched Jane die" moment would be him going "those VMUs? glitched. I watched them corrupt my data. you would have known if you were really a diehard SA2 fan, Jesse. casual-ass All-Stars playing motherfucker" xP

[hotdadlicense]

Top 5 characters 😇💗

jess there are SO many characters in the world omg. ily

daryl dlxon. HATE loving the main character of a big show like ohhhhh you fell for it you feel for their marketing etc but it's been 8 years. i just gotta accept it. also i've said it before and i'll say it again. the dadification of daryl dixon is something that's so important to me. also the way he attracts the L's, the G's, the Bee's, the Tee's, and most importantly – the Pluses, like moths to a flame. like bro. we know what you are.

charllie kelly!!!!! king of the rats himself!!!!! when he said 'i can never tell which way is north on a map ... i just thought north was like, Up.' also the 'we're two different people, we can't have the same left.' he was right.

anne bonnvy!!!! feel like i rly just wholeheartedly accepted that i'm bi watching her on my screen like any denials i had were just like. gone. then that scene in the last few eps (??? its been a hot minute) with max where they're sitting on the bench and its snowing and they hold hands. i watched that and was like oh maybe happiness and true love does exist. also 'fuck you jack'

tara chambller. wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife wife gay gay gay wife

billyyyyyy hargroveeeee. listen. that bitch had his mother who SHOWED HIM LOVE walk OUT on him and LEAVE HIM with his piece of SHIT dad who then got re-MARRIED and got him a new STEP SISTER and STEP MUM then moved him to a SHIT ASS landlocked bumfuck TOWN on the OTHER SIDE of the COUNTRY that was fucked up as FUCK. THEN. this motherfucker gets POSSESSED by some inter-dimensional monster FREAK that everyone else can't win a single FIGHT against without using POWERS and KNOWLEDGE and UNDERSTANDING and he doesn't have ANY OF THAT he's literally just tryin' to fuck someones MUM cos mummy issues etc but now he's POSSESSED and he STILL shows up to WORK cos he's got TOWNS to get the FUCK out of, possessed or NOT, and THEN he takes ON the mindflayer bitch with nothing but his BARE HANDS and TRAGIC PAST and he takes that bitch OUT. and then DIES. AND. his last words are i'm sorry. to his sister. AND he puts cologne on his dick. king bitch with TWO grave stones. billy & max siblings of all time honestly i'd die for them. also i hate stranger thlngs i feel like i need to clarify that idk

[popculturebuffet]

Tal'Dorei Travelogue: Dragonic Nightmares, Beyond Any Measure, Will Friedle Daydreams To Treasure Forever (Rise of the Chroma Conclave, Trials of Vasslehiem, The Sunken Tomb)

Hello all you happy critters and welcome to a new feature on this blog: Tal'Dorei Travelogue, where I take a look at each batch of Vox Machina episodes as it comes out. For those new here, I review comics and animation and i'm a MASSIVE fan of this show, to the point that despite having tons of other work i've decide to give a try to covering it every week simply because I love talking about it that much and didn't want to miss out again like I did last year. While I haven't seen much of critical roll...

I know, I know, I've bought the book, and deeply loved season one of this show, an epic fantasy about vengance, accepting who you are.. .and pulling on scanlans motherfucking beads. It nicely blended the kind of bullshit i'm told is normal for a DnD campagin with the epic fantasy that's just as normal, gorgeous animation and made it's main cast personal faviorite va's of mine.. except Ashley and Sam. They were already there since childhood. So my anticipation was through the roof for season 2 and after a VERY rough year for animation and a rough start to go along with that... I really needed this and the show not only didn't disapoint but somehow topped itself from the high it left off on. So join me under the cut but be warned.. there be dragons.. and also full spoilers for this weeks episodes.

Rise of the Chroma Conclave: So kicking my 2023 in animation (As I haven't yet watched the one Great North i've gotten yet and i'm not getting near Velma till me and my friend @jess-the-vampire (Who I also swept into this very show), are good and ready) with one hell of a bang, The Scouring of Emon, as i'm calling it as a big nightmarish fantasy event needs a cool name and I need something to call this to my therapist after this whole thing gives me nightmares for month, is easily one of the most tense events i've seen in animation. The first ten minutes of this episode is a mixture of the Chroma Conclave killing everything in their path in the most brutal way possible, and our heroes running for their lives and BARELY surviving. It sells just how BIG an event this is and just what a full power DnD dragon can do, something I really wasn't aware of not playing the game no matter how badly i've wanted to: it only takes what seems like MINUTES in story and seconds in real time for them to utterly destroy emon, kill most of it's people, and for Thordak to grandly delcare they scan serve them.. or they can die. There is no other option. The dragons are also played well, with Lance Reddick, who I previously saw play a villian masterfully on Ducktales with Lunaris utterly top himself with a deep terrifying growl, and continuing a trend of using a voice acting legend for one of their main villians instead of a guest star, Cree Summer nicely follows up Grey with her turn as Raishan, something they set up last season and i'm glad they followed through with. I haven't seen her play a villian in a while but god does she do as amazing as you'd expect, and with just a few lines she sells our heroes are fucked and why they barely escape her alive. Matthew Mercer and in a surpise as the voice was so diffrent from Vax, LIam O'Brian, do wonderful as Umbrasyl and Vorugal, completing the quartet. The CGI is also leagues better than last time: While Brimscythe was intimidating and all, the crew outright said that Titmouse worked overtime to make sure the dragons felt like the full characters they are instead of just beasts and it works, and thus the CGI instead helps sell that these beasts are BEYOND our heroes, beyond strength, and beyond hope.. and all they can do is run and HOPE to survive for now a Thordak hyper beams emon to cinders.

Our heroes are thus less terrfied as the king dies (Tragically, and with dignity, simply smiling that his family lives on as he bleeds out his eyes) and their left simply running, seperated and scared. And we get some close calls to show just how outclassed our heroes are: Percy nearly DIES. While obviously given both the trailers and how early it is this wasn't going to happen, the show doe swhat good fiction does and still sells you on the danger and it still utterly jarred me to see my faviorite of the group's skin melt off and Pike BARELY save him in time. Meanwhile the other half of the team.. faces Raishan... and in nice final boss preview fashion... their best efforts do NOTHING. Grog's move that served him so well last time, raging then splitting a dragon open... looses him his faviorite head chopper, simply breaking off on Raishan, and the most Scanlan can do is literally put a foot in her mouth, which only delays her for a moment. We also see Gilmores, one of the best locations of the last season... as burnt out husk. Gimore himself barely lives and it's telling that he's so shaken he offers them anything they need at a discount.... then just says fuck it and lets them loot whatever he has left. Scalan gets stuck with a broom, but everyone stocks up well for the rough road ahead. I also like how the lance of epic dragonslaying from last season isn't forgotten.. but also isn't allowed to make our heroes quest easy, being smashed quickly with Percy just sighing "of course".

This leaves our heroes retreating and welcoming in refuges, with some wanting to fight.. but Percy suggesting fleeing to whitestone instead.. and being you know.. right. And not just because he's my boy: they BARELY escaped with their lives, the dragons will be on them soon, and it's the only safe haven they have. These dragons just took the captial of the land hostage in a second. The rest eventually agree... though Keyleth wonders if this was their fault after Brinscythe, though while that's a neat question i'm glad they don't dwell on it as Percy ultimately points out it isn't: Emon had the best army in the world before him, so it was clear this was in motion a long time and while it goes unsaid, them stopping him likely meant as many survivied as they did rather than have Brinscythe destroy the entire army outright and possibly start the invasion sooner.

What I like is that the castle bit gets you a few seconds of breather.. before VORUGAL comes dowon on them, kills most of the refuges, and once again proves our heroes have no chance as they are as Scanlans gambit from last time.. is dispeled in seconds as Vorgual can see through illusions. It's another nice bit of storytelilng: As keyleth said earlier "Do they have magic?" And it proves they do. Brimscythe was not only have the size.. but also a brute in combat, simply using his sheer strength as a dragon. His allies are stronger, smarter, and our heroes can only hope to run and get stronger , get help and get out alive, barely escaping with maybe 20 people tops. So with some help from Cassandra and the Keeper our heroes keep them safe. And it's also telling for her leadership that Cassandra wholeheartdly agrees to keep the refuges safe here as Whitestone's isolation, which helped the briarwoods keep their iron fist on the place, is now working for the city as it's not a major target. It dosen't mean they have forever though: our heroes need a plan and having seen the pilot again recently... it's a really nice subtle show of character growth: in the pilot when just facing ONE dragon sacking emon eventually... our heroes response was...

Only turning around because they saw the people they'd just seen moments ago dead, all dead at Brimscythe's hands. Here there once again backs to the wall, now by FOUR dragons who are all smarter, stronger and deadlier than the dragon they BARELY defeated a few months ago, just likely weeks at best days at worst after they again barely (if not by as close a margin) beat a powerful necromancer, a god and rid their friend of a smoke monster. It's not only more understandable to run completely this time but almost expected.. and yet it takes little convicing for most of the party to agree. Vax and Vex are mildly reluctant but agree quickly, with Vax being skeptical.. but also likely understanding this is their duty. It's heartwarming to see these guy go in just a few month from scoffing at the idea of doing something heroic... to all but two fully agreeing to leap into this and find some way to defat the dragons. Their the defenders of the realm and while the guy who gave them that title just melted, it still means something. The only holdouts make sense: Grog is unsure of his strength after the axe thing, and Scalan being the most cyncial .. is the one just outright saying...

The speech that follows is also inspriing as the team join scalan.. and have also gotten closer as instead of laughing, or anything they just simply find him and Vex and Percy point out what they've acomplished and what whitestone has: in just a few days to a week they already have their surrounding wall almost repaired, and it shows what our protaganist have become: true heroes. Because a hero... inspires people. There someone to look up to and to whitestone they see not fuckups.. but people who risked their lives to save them, freed them from a nightmare, and did more than they ever could've dreamed of. Their heroes wether they like it or not and in this dark time SOMEONE needs to act like it. And if they die.. at least they die gloriously. Scalan caves with the instant classic line of "Can't do my world tour without the band" and it's off to the holy city of Vasslehiem for help. This episode is a tightly packed thrill ride I love to death: it only lets the audeince catch their breath twice to really sell just how fucked Emon is, how much our heroes have lost, and how dire everything is. There's still some great jokes, but the humor is kept either to the quiter moments or simply kept brief as it should: The show knows when to be hilarious as fuck... and when to really sink in how dark things have gotten and how far away the dawn is.. granted in this case the dawn is another year away as they seem to be splitting this arc over two seasons, but it sets up an epic world tour for our heroes, and that they need to take some serious levels in badass , and as we've see their already pretty high up, if their going to survive, much less win.

The Trials of Vassleheim Our heroes manage to enter a tree with Yennins vauge directions and after a hilarious bit that was released to promote the season with Kiki saving the twins and pike by flying like the wind and Scalan saves the rest of the party with a giant ass.... percy... takes it suprisingly well

Vasselheim itself.. ends up being no better. Percy suffers some humilation with his wheeling and dealing failing (Vex assures him it happens to all the nobles), and Pike trying to appeal to their council... fails because Highbearer Vord and co.. are your standard council of assholes who won't do anything if ti dosen't effect them. Insert your own politics joke here but i'ts one of the most common jokes in fiction and despite the fact that you know, their going to come for them eventually, they decide not to help.. the despite the fact that they don't even need to send an army or something, they could you know have given our heroes weapons, knowledge you know... on the sly. Anything besides "Gee that's rough buddy". Thankfully one of the guys working for them actually has a working soul and directs them to the Slayers Take, some bounty hunters who are rough tumble.. but their patron deity can help. Also all the while Vax is seeing creepy visions of death and is thus more protective of Vex than usual. Well not exactly death but for those who haven't read campaign spoilers a book or what have you, I shan't tell you what he's seeing, though you can likely guess after the next one.

The story then splits in half as Craven Edge, Silas' creepy sword starts talking to Grog who mistakes it for his stomach and thus wonders off for a fun grog solo adventure. And after eating and suprisingly without visting a whorehouse , Grog wonders his way into an arena where he finds Earthbreaker Groon, a badass monk played by Ike Amadi, a va I hadn't heard of but whose had tons of rolls from Martian Manhunter in the Tommorowverse to Aaron fucking Davis Prowler in the insomniac spider-man games. He's awesome here and the traning sequence... as it is here is one that will stick in my head for a while. Groon simply breaks down Grog asking where his strength comes form.. and suprisingly to me and Grog it isn't the typical "heart" answer I thought he was going for. It also nicely shows how utterly outmatched grog is in a way I always love seeing: Grog gives everything he has from craven edge, to raging.. and never even gets CLOSE to landing a blow, often never even drawing a punch. Groon meanwhile simply uses a few strikes. It's one of those things I just love when I see, to signal the begining of a heroes climb up to that level: that someone can outclass them that easily. Being used a lot in manga, it's likely not a suprise a bunch of nerdy va's who love anime used this trope and bless em for it. Grog finally stops getting made into hamburger when he admits he dosen't know, and that's the first step. The next ones are his. While an old man beats up Grog, the rest of our heroes head to the slayers take, which Vax says is a bad idea and refuses to explain why... until they get in there and we find out the take is pissed at the twins for stealing a bounty on a hydra from them, a nice nod to the origianl stream where VM first met the take fighting a hydra they had marked and had to join them to avoid arrest. It was a whole thing I have not scene. Point is our heroes are mostly marked for death by voice acting legend Will Fredle!

Yeah it's been a while since I heard him though he DID play Star Lord in that guardians of the galaxy show I forgot existed, so he hasn't stopped working, he just hasn't had any high profile gigs for a while is all. If you don't know him

And second I don't qutie mean that but it's still weird as he's played Terry Mcgunnies,Doyle Saturday Jamie Reyes, and of course the one the only best boy of all boys Ron Stoppable. He's been in this buisness a while with many more under his belt. He's not here because of that though but because Will Fredle actually guest starred on Critical Roll along with Mary Elziabeth MCgleenn as Zahara, a warlock and fellow take member whose just as eager for said revenge. It was part of that arc I mentioned, which was heavy on guest stars, including Felica Day who I hope gets more of a roll down the line, either as her character or just as someone period. To explain to people like me who only watch the cartoon, Critical Roll will occasionally have someone else sit at the table, bring in a character for the session that sort of thing. It's the tabletop equilvent of when someone TECHNICALLY joins your party in an rpg but you either have no control over them or their only there for the dungeon. Zahara and Kash were some of the most popular, so it's no suprise they made it over eventually, simply compressing thing: most of the party meets the take here instead of in the past, and one part of Kash's story, his flirting with Keleyth, was moved here. I won't say what I know backstory wise, as it may be revealed here later.

Anyways the take is overulled by their patron, who has them drop the party into her sarlac pit. It's there we get my faviorite sequnece of the episode: the fact it dosent have boy meets world's brother sucks but instead we get Allana Ubach, aka Manny Rivera herself, as Osysa, an ancient sphinx who quickly sets out to test our heroes.. and how is simple: break their spirit and see if they get back up: being a sphinx she apparently knows everything and thus needles our casts weakensses: Pike is afraid she wont' be good enoguh to save her friend smuch less the world, Percy is still wondering if he can ever earn back his friends trust after what he's done or evne forgive himself, the twins have seperation anxiety with Vax being afraid of loosing his sister and Vex having tried desperatley to please a father who will never love her back, Kelyeth faces the fact she's been avoiding doing her armante, and Scalan gets the biggest put down of all "No one cares about you and i'm no exception". She offers to let the heroes leave.. but PIke is steadfast standing up and refusing to leave , even willing to die to prove a point, and everyone is behind her.. and that, in classic fantasy fashion.. was the point. It was a test of resolve. To see if they were worthy and if they can do what's necessary: to fight even in impossible odds and be ready to sacrifice anything to succeed.

Their tools.. are something awesome that was ironically, thank you book for this knowledge, cooked up to solve a common dnd problem, and one that plauges video game rpgs too: you often get cool weapons, rely on them, come to value them as part of you.. ,but due to it's nature as a game you have to give them up eventually. Matt's solution? The Vestiges of Divergence. While there's KIND OF an explination in the show, here's the short version of teh long version: Long ago there war between the good gods and the evil betrayer gods. To help save humanity the gods gave their various patrons the vestiges, weapons embued with the power of gods from weapons to armor to cloaks. The weapons were either lost or hidden after the war, and thus wait for new bearers. When the bearer undergoes an emotoinal turning point, the vestige becomes awawkened and thus stronger. So in short a characters development... makes the item stronger and thus keeps it around, and nicely translates to tv storytelling. They can give our heroes the leg up to fight the dragons

The first is in a tomb in the lake to the west, The Deathwalkers Ward. We'll learn more about it in a moment but for now our heroes have ana ctual plan: get the vestiges, kill the dragons and then profit.. that's.. literally how vex puts it suprising no one. Our heroes decide to spend a night getting good and hammered first, before preapring to set out Edit: Crap on a crap cracker! While i'm not going to kick myself too much fo rmissing something most of the time I nearly didn't mention victor. He was a recurring charcter in the stream apparently tha tnaturlaly matt not only reprised here but they found a way to include.. and he's every bit delightful as he was built up to be, casually exploding his place by the end of his apperance, talking jolliy,.. and still being nicely integrated as a random shop keep is easy to put in a stream but here not only does Percy getting some black powder before he heads off make sense.. but it reveals Ana ripley is not only around.. but got some herself. percy decides to keep this to himself but there's no way this can possibly end well.

The Sunken Tomb

Or as I call it

Yeah even knowing what's ahead.. didn't help. This episode hurt. And for the first third or so it's just okay: Pike is a bit wory about the pitch black sword made of pure evil wielded by a spooky vampire Grog is using, Scalan indulges in his foot fetish, Percy's only suggestion when some creatures from the black lagoon attack him is "KELEYTH TURN INTO A BIRD OR SOMETHIGN" i'ts normal. The only diffrences are Zahra and Kashaw, who are commencing with operation "steal the vestige out from under them" an d"Get into kiki's tunic dress whatever" respectively.

This does lead to one of the shows funniest moments so far and one I had to replay at least twice before I could move on: the tomb as it turns out is the temple of Purvan... which for some reason Matt insisted be prounounced pur-von.

Yeah as you can probably imagine the original livestream, which I luckily found a clip of this moment on youtube so I didn't have to dig for it, went off the rails for a second after this as the entire cast laughed at it for some time while Matt vainly tried to both restore order and defend the purv. So i'm delighted the gang's knee jerk and entirley justified reaction of chorttling like middle schoolers was kept, with the entreity of vox machina bursting out into laughter, and with the best two jokes given to their actors respective characters with Scalan wondering if his last name is Pedo Bear and Vax admitting we all need to get our perv on sometime. IT's somehow made better with Kash's deadpan "You guys are the worst", which is clearly echoing what Matt was thinking in the moment. The rest is a prettty standard dungeon crawl, though spiced up with the sense of impending dread: the mysterious figure of the raven queen keeps stalking vax, his paranoia at his sisters death is hightned.. and then they get seperated. It's also telling he's hung up on this as he only reacts maybe once to Kiki moving on to someone else... whic is refreshing as you can only see so much scooby doo before your sick of "Daphne gets mad at fred despite them not being together" #87, so good on him. Worry about his sister now. Admitely i'm not on team Vax because it's the clear endgame. Being the clear endgame.. does not necessarily make a ship good. For instance i'm mostly supporting the main ship of miraculous ladybug out of fatigue at this point. Just because the writers want a relatoinship dosen't mean the audience is rooting for it. But the two have genuine chemstiry, to the point it just happened organically in the game, while Kash.. just seems to be hitting on her because he thinks she's pretty. Which.. she is. I mean this entire team is a smokeshow. Even grog who I kinda put to the side last season has gone up a notch thanks to him getting a breard. Also him getting his beard was comedy gold, from him putting on the belt of dwarvenkind to Kash sarcastically brushing it off.. only for Grog to get in his face. As for why this is a big thing apparently Goliath's, Grog's race, are naturally smooth let's say.

At any rate, we get two parties, and a nicely tense fight scene with the fish man, as well as Vex's exasperation that one of them is a wizard. It's a fun fight, and we even get trinket eating some guys then letting pike ride on his back.

And more disturbing and plot relevant.. grog gets a bit too into murdering which starts funny (it's because his beard was half shaved off, a nod to a prank from the stream i'd heard of), and .. then gets creepy as he gets very slasher villian into his bloodshed to Pike's horror. No time to talk though as the slayers booked it and went down a hallway to possible doom.. as it turns out when Vox machina enters and finds out the secret entrance they found is not the one they need. Instead Vax goes investigating instead of vex.. which proves to be a fatal mistake. Not for him, he's fine and finds out where their informant is. But Percy flirtly egging Vex on with "your brother wouldn't like it", which is also what he calls oral, finds them the grave and the vestige. Which normally would be great: magic item found, flirting between my faviorite pairing on the show, a good time for all.. but well... this show likes to hurt us and matthew mercer like sto hurt his players so .... Vex .. is well....

An arcane bolt hits her, and she disturbingly just.. htis the floor.. her eyes dead. Probably not the best time to see this given my cat died two weeks ago and had the same look. It's well done and makes you think for a second it might not be undone. All the party can do is scramble to her while Scalan, despite being often at odds with both twins, screams for him to get up here. And just to twist the knife further, the episode spent a good chunk of it's runtime somehow making us feel worse as we get some backstory for vax and vex. It's one of the nice thigns about the medium: instead of just saying the backstory, which is a necity in tabletop and still can be done hauntingly well as, having seen the first episode of the whitestone arc, Talisen Jaffe did a soulcrushing performance of percy telling everyone his. But here you can flesh it out an dhave the players actually act out their tragic pasts.

So going back a bit, we focus on the day Vax and Vex left their abuse father. IT's been mentioned their mom was killed by a dragon but what hasn't come up till now.. is their father. See their dad Sygorn is..

He's a racist asshole who basiclaly abucted the twins from their mom.. then proceded to emotoinally abuse them, being cold distant and feleing like they were an embarssment for being half human. He is a giant back of fuck you good sir and his first scene has him getting overly pissed at Vex for trying on and accidently breaking a diadim, then calling them out on their "Muddled" blood. Vax has enough and says their getting the fuck out of there and while Vex hestiaties, badly wanting her dad's love... the fact her dad dose n't put up a fight crushes her enough to go along with it. The two end up fighting with Vex, feeling vax needs her too much, leaves. She succesfully hunts and is fine on her own... but finds a sobbing Vax. As it turns out his clingyness wasn't because he felt she needed him.. but because he felt worthless and needed HER. They reconclile and promise to mever be apart. It puts a LOT of Vex's clingy behavior in season one in a more sympathetic light: she's utterly horrible to Kiki, true, and it's still not okay.. but given her brother is easily hurt, she just wants to, if entirely misguidedly protect him. It also explains why despite Vex being openly flurtatious with percy so far Vax hasn't returned the same: While Vex likely worries her brother can't handle himself (he can), Vax knows she can and only got scared and overportective when he kept getting portents of death.. and given said portent caused her death, I can't blame him. TH eending is just.. liam doing som heartbreaking sobbing. And true to form that's where we leave the week.... Mercer you bastard. I'll hopefully be here next week but if not catch me on twitter @lanternmogo and thanks for reading.

[bamboobrat]

succession s3 e2 recap: spooked by fucking donuts 4/4

tag urself in this scenario. i am connor.

roman is 98 percent sure his father didn't poison the donuts.

honestly, i think it is pretty legit power move from logan. threatening donuts. this is what i want to see from prestige tv.

the donuts creep all the kids out. connor is the first to say no to kendall, to which i say GOOD FOR HIM. ken immediately goes in for the kill and tells him he is not wanted or needed, and my heart broke.

kendall is really showing us right now how he can be just like his father. he knows exactly where to poke a sharp stick.

he yells at shiv, saying she is only important because she is a woman and has tits (or teets? i hate that word wtf)... and then by the end, he is running out of steam and just goes on calling roman a prick or something.

at least be creative with your insults, kendall.

the twins share a moment of solidarity in the car, which i enjoy. i especially enjoy the fact that every time someone says something that sounds remotely nice, the reaction is that of shiv in the photo below:

we do not trust kindness.

greg decides to get what is possibly the best lawyer ever:

i love him.

greg... not so much.

greg the motherfucking egg is going to take down all of capitalism and corporate america. i, personally, cannot wait.

gerri shows up looking gorgeous as ever and logan doesn't even shake her hand. death penalty, please.

i'm scared. in gerri i trust, but i'm scared.

she doesn't seem to bothered about it, though. and kudos to jesse and the entire team for always putting these two next to one another.

you guys are true allies.

then...... the fucking hazmat suit scene. so, from what i've gathered, shiv is going to become some kind of mole/mascot/president person at waystar who can be logan's eyes and ears.

and she will be protected by gerri, in the official role of CEO, who might take the fall if something were to happen.

and let's face it, something will happen.

all in all, great episode in my opinion. all these people do is be bisexual, eat hot chip and lieeeeeeee. so many lies. perhaps a drinking game idea for next episode? one where we all die of alcohol poisoning, evidently.

predictions for next episode: for now, the only person i really think is squarely on logan's side is connor, because he knows that history teaches us not to kill our fathers (will take note of that). i think roman still has some love in his strange, little heart for kendall, and shiv... well, i think she will side with whoever comes out on top tbh. i think we will see gerri in the trenches next episode, with logan not doing much to help. kendall will continue to be full of himself. karl will hopefully be there, i miss karl<3 hugo will... choke on some hotel cob salad cubed ham.

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

[darke15]

been thinking about this for a while sooo just as a fun thought experiment:

how do you envision each characters voice? alpha 1 & 2, boone and duke?? any specific references to certain people who you hear when they speak >:)

Ohhhhhhhhhh good question Val!

I can def hear their voices in my head that doesn't sound so good outta context does it?

But it's hard to describe. A lotta times it's who I face cast them as

Alpha One

Weston : Liam Neeson

There's just something about this motherfucker's voice, probs because he played Hannibal in A-Team, that sounds like a seasoned Commander.

Weston would have a raspy voice, something he gained from his cigar addiction, but it would also be cool, calm, and collected even in the middle of battle.

You'd be able to hear him from across the room, even when he's using his inside voice.

Danny : Edgar Ramirez

Have you heard this man's accent? Ughhhhhhhhh gorgeous

Danny would have a thick Spanish accent, something that almost rivals Jaime Camil's voice (yes I know he's from Mexico and Danny's from Spain and the accents are different, just stick with me here)

His voice is smooth and silky, he's someone that you wouldn't talking your ear off just to hear his voice.

Turner : toss-up between Michael Ealy // Idris Elba

This one I'm iffy on, I picture his voice as playful when he's with Alpha 1, almost being light and chill but it turns stern when he becomes the Senator

I picture there's a Southern lilt to it, he grew up in New Orleans after all, and he's eloquent and soft-spoken.

Oop, just thought of an almost voice. Charles Michael Davis, the guy who plays Marcel in the originals

Ollie : Joseph Mazzello

Again, iffy on this one

His voice is light and slightly in the best way nerdy? I hear his voice as light, almost a timid whisper most of the time.

Alpha 2

Duke : ????

I honestly don't have a good answer for this one, I'm still not happy with who I face cast Duke with

I picture Duke's voice as deep and a little gruff at times but still soft when he needs to be.

Boonie : ????

I'm still on the fence with her face cast and her voice is...unique

There's an obvious Western drawl, it's light and just a bit sultry but not too much

Jack : Henry Cavill

I picture his voice like Cavill's in M:I Fallout, deep and can be a bit serious at times

except when he's with duke and he's relaxed

Raffa : Justin Baldoni // ???

When Raffa is working, he's got a really smooth, professional voice.

When he's not, he talks like he's from the hood...because he is. He laughs a lot and throws around a lot of slang

Belov : Armie Hammer (Man from UNCLE)

Belov's voice is deeply accented and low, there's always the verge of a growl on the edge of his voice

Zac : Justin H. Min

Just like Oliver, I picture Zac's voice as light but it's a little deeper and less timid.

It's often a little hoarse, he goes for hours (sometimes days) without socializing

Jesse : Naomi Harris

I really don't know how to describe her voice except for Harris' voice in Skyfall, Spectre, and No Time to Die

Last, but certainly not least, everyone's favorite grumpy teddy bear :

Ari : Jon Bernthal // ???

This one is probably the hardest to describe. I hear his voice as deep, dark, accented, gruff, and slightly monotoned

His Israeli accent is thick and he doesn't try to hide it

or OR if you wanna get crazy, you can picture me voicing all of them, out loud, accents and all, like a psychopath, as I pace through the house trying to get dialogue down. ya know, whatever you want.

[wthtorke]

Wild Fire.

A lil background first, s/o is a pyromaniac and well, he’s murdered ppl as well lmao

Jesse wanted a bit of fun, so he started researching some crazy-ass motherfuckers like him because one, he was bored and two, someone had the gall to tell him he needed some friends.

Out of 10 files in his hands, he picks out two.

One of a strange masked man and another one that’s blurry as fuck because there’s a raging fire in the background, but he can make out the faint outline of a face.

All the info they had on them didn’t make one full page.

Jesse loved a good challenge.

So Jesse sets his people on the hunt for these men. The pyromaniac seemed to move a lot while the masked man had one very broad area of terror.

It was fun, being on the chase he set up, seeing rushed pictures, asking around, torturing people to get answers. It was fun.

It was really fun.

The masked man, 'The Collector' as he came to know, noticed something was off and disappeared while the pyromaniac called him from a disposable phone to ask why the fuck was he 'snooping up on his shit'.

Jesse couldn't recall the last time he'd laughed that hard. How the fuck did he even get the number? Well, it didn't matter now, it would later, but it didn't matter now.

Not as he set up a 'date' with the pyromaniac, surprised when he showed up, sitting across Jesse in some restaurant they agreed on. Jesse had at least 3 snipers ready to blow his brains up had he tried anything.

He let him know and in return, he also said the place was littered with explosives and that they'd both most definitely die.

Jesse has never had a more fun date.

As time went by, they grew closer and closer, Jesse liked the absolute chaos the man could bring up in such a short time and the awfully charming and interesting conversation he could muster up. But what he loved more was the contrast of that to the moans he made when Jesse was buried to the hilt in his ass.

They still had to find The Collector, however. Jesse's partner had one look at the file and made a small 'ooh, I know how to get him'.

Hell, he fucking did actually.

He was the one survivor in one of The Collector’s little games, pretending to be scared and even crying as he was shoved in a trunk, the micro-camera in his shirt giving Jesse one hell of a show.

Jesse worked quickly so his partner wouldn't, well, be tortured by Asa just yet. Jesse talked to Asa, and Asa didn't really have anywhere to run. Even if he killed the man he captured, Jesse would still know.

So he played their game, getting...really into it somewhere between letting his newest piece (who also seems to be his partner now) out of his trunk and months later when the same man kissed him breathlessly in the shower in one of Jesse's houses.

The three had done some work together, each having fun with victims and then having fun with each other back home.

One time, however, things didn't go according to plan.

Jesse doesn't really know where or when things went wrong. All he knew was the cold spike up his spine when he saw the knife sinking into their 'Butterfly's abs as two escapees ganged up on him after running from Jesse himself.

The last thing Jesse's brain registered was the distressed, painful cry that left his lover’s throat.

When he came back to himself, there was blood. Blood, bits of face, flesh, and scalp in his hands. His knives were filthy, his boots were beyond salvation.

And then Asa.

Asa shook his shoulder while still holding a very pale man in his arms, his hands struggling to press his own mangled shirt to his abs to contain all the blood.

The ringing stopped. Jesse got them out of there, calling the doctors he always had set and prepared in case things went wrong.

And things went very wrong.

The surgery lasted many hours, more than Jesse had the patience to wait for, Asa himself couldn't stay still.

'He's gonna be okay' was the phrase that had them both finally breathing again. Jesse rarely thought about other people, he didn't have to.

Normally, he'd say 'nice' and go out again, call to have news if he felt worried, and only set foot in there when the man could at least walk again.

But he couldn't do that this time.

He didn't want to, he couldn't bring himself to even think about leaving them now.

Asa took a few days off work and they wouldn't really leave the house, both knowing the man was resting upstairs, still unconscious from the surgery, still breathing shallowly. 

The blade hadn’t gone too deep, he wouldn't have trouble eating or well, shitting.

''He pulled back a bit in time,' the doctor said, 'it was just a fright'.

When he woke up, they were both at his side.

He was... surprised like he didn't expect them to be there.

But happy, nonetheless. 

As the days go by and he slowly recovers, he finds himself always in the company of one of them. Jesse pressed into his good side, arm wrapped around him, resting against the couch. Jesse's face buried into his neck, peppering kisses up and down his neck, stopping briefly to nip at his earlobe before a hand came up to his face, Jesse bringing his face closer to kiss his face while he himself just wanted to watch some damn TV.

Not that he was complaining, though. He definitely didn’t mind the open displays of affection he was getting. It was good to be pampered, and he was enjoying every second of it, sighing every time he thought about it ending when he got better.

Asa himself was more attentive, letting his hand drag back and forth as he caressed whatever part of him he could reach, be it his arm, his shoulder, letting his fingers drag into his hair, holding his hand when he was reading by his side and just holding him close as he dozed off to some documentary about spiders playing in the background.

As he got better and better, the wound fading into a pink scar, they were finally given the green sign to...resume their bedroom activities.

If he had thought he was being pampered, he definitely wasn't prepared for the amount of touching, praise, and kisses he got their first night back together.

Asa would whisper into his ear as Jesse kissed down his chest, stopping briefly over the fresh, sensitive scar, softly blowing over it, and smirking at the slight shiver he felt underneath him.

Usually, they’d go for over one round. There were three of them, rarely all of them felt sated with just one, but all three were pent up and tired, stressed from all the days of recovery so he soon found himself sandwiched between the two most dangerous murderers he'd ever met, panting, hot, sweaty and coming down from the high of their orgasms.

Jesse turned on the ac and just slumped back into bed, barely pulling up the skull-printed boxers around his hips as he wrapped his arms around the tired pyromaniac between them. Asa mostly let Jesse hold him, just draping an arm over him but making sure they tangled their legs, so he'd know he was also there.

That they weren't going anywhere, ever.

[clareguilty]

Pulled Punches

Soldier 76/f!reader Rating: Explicit | No Warnings Word Count:  ~3000

A smutty gift fic for a friend ;)

“You’re pulling your punches,” Jack crossed his arms. You could imagine his look of disapproval behind his visor.

“No I’m not.” Your response was immediate. Childish. He may have been right, after all. You flipped the grip on your training knife, taking a defensive stance.

“You aren’t attacking with your full weight. If you don’t put more force into it, you won’t do any lasting damage.” 

It was frustrating, training CQC with a literal supersoldier. You were untrained, yet you were going up against someone twice your size and with years more experience than you. Jack had beat you every single round for the last half hour, but he refused to let up.

Even though he had his visor on, he was dressed down to just a black tshirt and pants without any of his armor or gear. It was hot as hell in the desert, and you had followed suit in just a loose sleeveless top and some leggings. It was becoming harder and harder to focus as your heart pounded with exertion and Jack’s muscles flexed under his shirt. Why the hell was he so ripped? You had watched him rip a steel door off its hinges two days ago, and now you couldn’t take your eyes off the way his biceps moved under his sleeves.

“Agent, focus,” he snapped. You glared at him. 

“Focus on what?” you asked, cocking your head. You were getting tired of this.

Your insubordination must have struck a nerve, because Jack darted forward in an instant, knife drawn faster than you could blink. You sidestepped, ducking under his outstretched arm and taking a few quick swipes at his midsection. He knocked you with his unarmed elbow, and you stumbled back. A boot swept behind your ankles. Suddenly, you were looking up at Jack as he knelt to roll you and pin your knife arm behind your back.

“Fuck you,” you hissed.

He chuckled. The sound made your blood boil. “You need to attack from your core, that’s the only way you’ll have enough strength to disarm your opponent. Don’t worry about hurting me. I can take it.”

“Let me up,” you hit the ground. You didn’t want to admit that you liked the heat of Jack’s hand against your back, or the feeling of his weight on top of you.

He relented, stepping back as you pulled yourself to your feet and readjusted your stance yet again. You were pissed. This whole thing felt pointless. You would never be able to beat Jack. Would you even be good enough to make it out in the field? You had been traveling with Soldier 76 for a few months, and it was hard not to feel like dead weight. He was an ex commander. You were just some naive kid who didn’t know when to quit.

So you squared your shoulders and readied your blade. Jack only seemed amused by your anger. He probably thought it was pitiful.

Except when he attacked this time, you didn’t just sidestep. You dropped low underneath his attack, stepping in close and headbutting him right in the stupid fucking visor.

The impact made your vision go white. Still, you shoved into him with everything you could manage, forcing him back half a step. His balance was unshakeable, but you were too damn mad to even bother taking him down. You just went for blow after blow until he pushed you off of him.

It was a quick reset for you, and you lunged again. This time, he trapped your arm with his, blocking your next swing. You reached to grapple, but he trapped that arm as well. Your leg was lifted and you went down swiftly but gently.

You were pinned beneath Jack, snarling and furious. He pulled the knife from your hand far too easily for your liking. 

“That was great,” he praised you, never breaking his hold on you. “Much better.”

“You motherfucker. Don’t patronize me.” You were fed up with Jack constantly talking down to you.

“I’m not,” he insisted. “I’m very proud of you.”

“Just get the fuck off me,” you shoved at him. He backed off and offered a hand to help you up, which you ignored. You stormed back to the bunker, fed up with sparring for the day.

The bunker was an old shelter from the omnic crisis, set into the side of a hill and pretty well fortified as well as off the grid. You didn’t question how Jack knew to find it, or how well stocked it was -- as though someone had been through recently and replenished the supplies. It was one room with an adjoining bathroom, minimal counter space, gas cooktop, low cots scattered about and an old sofa with a coffee table strewn with incomplete decks of cards.

Jack didn’t come back inside until later; he probably wanted to give you a chance to cool off. 

“I’ve got food,” he announced as he pushed open the heavy door. The smell of meat and corn hit your nose, and suddenly you were much more forgiving.

You dug into your portion. Jack ate on the other side of the room, but you could feel his eyes on you. 

“What?” you demanded around a mouthful of food.

Jack chuckled and shook his head. “You are the most insubordinate little shit I’ve ever had the pleasure of traveling with --  and that includes Jesse McCree of all people.”

You scowled and turned away.

“I’m very proud of you,” Jack said, and you nearly choked on your food. “You learn fast, and you train hard. It’s good to see you’re improving every day.”

“It’s not enough,” you shrugged.

“What do you mean ‘not enough’? You’re picking up combat skills on the fly as fast as any of the best recruits I trained back in Overwatch. I’m amazed at how well you understand everything, it doesn’t come easy to everyone.”

“But it’s not fast enough,” you turned to face him. “I’m still years behind everyone else. Shrike? Reaper? Widowmaker? They’re the best at what they do. Even the fucking cowboy can aim while he’s drunk. If I keep dragging you down, you’re going to get hurt.”

Jack seemed shocked by your outburst. “I wouldn’t keep you around if I didn’t think you could handle it. I knew the risks when I let you travel with me.”

It wasn’t what you wanted to hear. You weren’t sure what you wanted to hear. “I’m going to shower and get some sleep.” Your chair scraped across the floor.

You had grown used to the closeness that came with traveling with Soldier 76. The shared space, the unspoken boundaries. He had spent years living in close quarters with other soldiers on the field. Your life had left you no stranger to such things either. 

Except for the feelings you constantly tried to push down. The respect and adoration for this hero who had picked you up off the ground. You had tried to play it off as admiration for his service, and a stupid celebrity crush, misplaced feelings because Jack was the only person you saw most days. But that wasn’t the truth. It was something deeper, something dangerous. You had fallen for this man who was training you, caring for you. 

Too bad he would never feel the same.

‘Agent.’ ‘Recruit.’ That’s all you were. Jack was a hero, more than you would ever be. You were nothing to him. It hurt. You settled in on your cot, facing the wall and counting the minutes until Jack turned the lights off. 

-

You woke up screaming. Gasping for air. Someone was there, and you lashed out without thinking.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Jack’s rough voice brought you back to reality. “It’s me. I’m right here.”

Jack. He was alive. He was safe. You fisted your hands in the worn material of his shirt and buried your face in his chest. Your cheeks were wet with tears.

“You had a nightmare,” he said calmly. “Have you been having them recently?”

You nodded, clinging to him desperately in case he tried to disappear. “Ever since we faced Reaper in Mexico City.”

Jack hummed. He was thinking. “You’re worried he could have killed you?”

“I’m worried he could have killed you,” you shuddered. “He almost did.”

A hand smoothed down your back, rubbing large circles. “He’s almost killed me a hundred times.”

“Not helping.”

“No,” Jack breathed, “I guess not.” He moved to sit on the tiny cot, pulling you into his lap and holding you to him. “I thought you would be glad to be rid of me? No one to kick your ass in training.”

“Still not helping,” you said.

“Alright. I promise I’m not going anywhere. I’m too damn stubborn and petty to die at this point. And these days I’ve actually got something to fight for. Something worth protecting.” His voice, normally so strong and commanding, wavered just a bit. 

“What’s that?” You finally looked up at him, tear-stained and trembling. 

He leaned down and pressed his lips to your forehead.

“You bastard,” you cursed and beat a fist against his chest.

“What did I do this time?” He asked. He was smiling, you could hear it.

“Don’t you know I’m in love with you?” It wasn’t how you wanted to confess. You hadn’t wanted to confess at all. You were fine taking your feelings to the grave rather than face this kind of vulnerability.

He froze. A moment of careful consideration. Risk evaluation. 

“I thought you were smarter than that,” he finally admitted.

“I thought I was too,” you huffed.

“You need sleep,” he said, trying to change the subject.

“You’re supposed to tell me to get over it.” Why was he still holding you? Why hadn’t he pushed you away? He should have been disgusted. Offended.

“What?”

“You’re supposed to tell me that I’m a reckless kid and I need to get over my feelings for you.” You needed that closure, needed a push in the right direction.

“I… can’t do that.” He sounded miserable. Defeated.

“I thought you were a hero?” Why were you still letting him hold you? Why were you so comfortable in his arms? You should have been disgusted.

“I’m a sad old fool. And I love you too.”

It should have been the type of revelation that made everything change. You should have felt your heart race and your cheeks flush and it should have been everything you had ever dreamed. Instead, you were coming off an adrenaline crash after your nightmare, and you could barely keep your eyes open as you breathed in the smell of leather and pulse munitions.

You would deal with this later. Everything later.

-

You woke groggy and way warmer than you would have liked to be. Lifting your head, you realized you were sleeping on Jack’s chest, one of his arms thrown around you protectively.

“Oh, fuck,” you groaned.

“I feel that,” Jack said, not moving. He had probably been awake for a while, lying perfectly still. Was he scared of something?

“You’re not actually in love with me, are you?” You squinted, trying to remember what dumb shit you had said last night.

“I should be asking you the same question.”

“Am I in trouble?” you asked.

“What would you be in trouble for?” Jack pushed up to his elbows, letting you sit against the wall and drag your hands down your face.

“I don’t know? You’re the commander or whatever. Isn’t it against the rules for me to want to fuck you?”

Jack made a choked sound. He flushed pink to the tips of his ears before finding his words. “Well, I’m not a commander anymore. And I think I’d be in even bigger trouble for wanting to be with you.”

It was your turn to stutter and flail. The thought of your feelings being reciprocated was still foreign. “We’re fucking idiots,” you groaned.

“Well,” Jack said, “What do you want to do next?”

“What do I want to do?” you asked incredulously. “If I had my way, you’d be pinning me to this cot, and I wouldn’t be able to remember my own name.”

It was a bluff. An exaggeration. An attempt to break the tension. You didn’t think he would take it seriously.

He moved too quickly. You didn’t stand a chance, still half asleep and reeling. And there you were, on your back, staring up at Jack’s gorgeous blue eyes as he smirked and settled his weight on top of you.

“Have I ever told you that you run your mouth off too much?” he asked.

For once, you were speechless. No witty remark, no spitfire comeback. You just wanted Jack to kiss you, but you couldn’t even find the words to ask for it.

“That’s better,” he teased you. He leaned down to capture your lips with his own and you moaned against his mouth. It was everything you had dreamed it would be. And you had dreamed about this a lot.

You rolled your hips up to grind against Jack. He groaned low in his throat and rocked back against you. “You’ll let me know if you’re uncomfortable?”

“Just don’t stop,” you fisted your hands in his shirt and pulled him to you. You had only gotten this far by some fluke, and you weren’t about to let it slip away. Your hands wandered everywhere, broad shoulders, thick arms, hard chest, firm ass. Jack seemed all too pleased by your admiration, he basked in it with a cocky grin. “Kiss me you cocky piece of shit,” you rolled your eyes.

A firm hand grabbed at your ass, and Jack growled in your ear, “Is that any way to speak to your commander?”

You moaned and let your head tip back so he could drag his teeth over your pulse point. It was a blinding sensation, and you retaliated by grabbing Jack’s cock through his pants. He was hard already. His grip on your ass tightened, a low moan escaping him.

“Is that what you want, sweetheart? You want Daddy’s cock?” He forced you to meet his eyes, holding your gaze as he waited for a response.

“Fuck that’s hot. That’s kinda weird, but it’s hot. Why is it hot?” You weren’t expecting it, but the way it made your stomach flip -- you were definitely into it.

He raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, I want you to fuck me,” you huffed.

“That’s a good girl,” he said, kissing you once more. This time, the two of you shed clothes piece by piece. Jack marveled at your chest when you tossed your shirt to the ground. He brushed his rough fingers over your nipples, delighting at your reaction. He didn’t need any encouragement to begin kissing over the sensitive skin, taking your nipples into his mouth.

“Jack,” you moaned.

“That’s it sweetheart. Tell Daddy what you want.” He pulled your leggings off and nudged your thighs apart, teasing you with delicate fingers.

You hated it. Hated having to ask for such dirty, embarrassing things when Jack clearly knew what you wanted. But damn if it didn’t make you wet.

“Inside --” You squeezed your eyes shut and bucked your hips. “I need you inside of me, Daddy.”

It was the magic word. Jack couldn’t control himself after hearing it. He stroked your clit and pressed a finger inside of you, quickly adding a second. You moaned and palmed his cock as best you could through his underwear. He was big -- bigger than you had imagined. Damn super soldiers.

It felt amazing, and you would have been happy to come just like that, but Jack wanted more.

“I need to be inside you,” he growled. He kicked off the last of his clothes, stroking his cock before settling between your legs. “Is that okay, baby?”

You nodded, trying to pull him in closer to you. “Please,” you whined.

He rubbed his cock along your entrance, pressing the tip in slightly. “I’ve got you,” he pulled you against him as he pressed forward. It was a stretch, but Jack kissed you so sweetly, whispering to you. He waited, watched your expression and held still until you gave him permission to move.

It was slow, careful, at first. Both of you trying to match the other. You finally found a rhythm that felt right, and Jack began to move quicker and quicker, harder and harder. You clung to him tightly, kissing sloppily over his neck and jaw. It felt so good, everything you had ever wanted. 

Jack’s hand slipped between your bodies, a few strokes over your clit and you came around his cock. He held you as you shook and gasped, sinking your teeth into his shoulder to muffle your moans.

“That’s it, baby.” He laid you gently on your back. “Let Daddy take care of you.”

He didn’t slow, continuing to fuck you as you worked through the aftershocks of your orgasm. He was getting closer. The pace of his hips faltered. “I’m close,” he moaned.

He pulled out as he came, stroking himself and spilling across your chest. It was messy, and you would have been annoyed if it wasn’t so damn hot. Jack stilled for a moment, but he made no move to lay down or clean up.

“Jack?” you asked. He leaned forward and kissed you, pressing your foreheads together,

“Are you able to go again?” he asked.

You were surprised, but you found yourself nodding. Jack was just as careful this time, making sure you were as comfortable as possible before taking you once more. He worked you to a slower, softer orgasm.

You came down from the high, and things started to become too much. It wasn’t the same blinding pleasure anymore. Jack didn’t seem to be tired at all. He brushed your hair out of your eyes, trailing a thumb over your lips. “Hold on, baby. Just a little bit more.”

He came again over your chest. You lay there painting as he shuddered through his second orgasm. This time, he wiped you down carefully, splitting a bottle of water with you. He pulled you close to him. 

“You’re still hard?” You felt his cock against you.

“Don’t worry about it -- super soldier shit.” He nuzzled against your skin. “We’re not training today. I just want to lay here.”

You were perfectly fine with that.

Masterlist

[darkromanceblackburn]

Chromeskull x Reader- Insecurities at their best

I tried to write something soft for Chromeskull, because let’s face it; he needs some true loving. I was inspired by @slash-em-up​ talking about Jesse’s insecurities and this came out. I hope I did Jesse right in this one, because soft Jesse is hard to write.

Anyone who knew Jesse could tell he had many talents and many people would die to be in his shoes, somehow. He had everything a man could ever want; being a successful CEO of a business, rich as fuck might I add, tall and giving off suave and powerful vibes, a criminal organization that full-filled his unorthodox hobbies.

Of course, he had his downsides too, being a complete sadist with a sick pleasure to create snuff films, sometimes he could be so sassy and a dark sense of humor that would make anyone uncomfortable, and let's not forgot the handsome face that he lost, now all scarred and disfigured.

People always wondered what you saw in him; talk about beauty and beast romance. You were beautiful, smart, a sassiness that could match his own, plus add the feisty attitude that had most men being drawn to your being.

You knew that besides the outer looks Jesse was giving; that vain, arrogant, narcissistic 'I'm the Alpha male' attitude, he was much more. Jesse Cromeans was an insecure man, especially self-conscious with his disfigured face, but he was also sweet and a comedy man, when he had his good mood on. He always managed to make you laugh and put on a grin on your face; a characteristic that made you love him with his goods and bads.

Because of this Jesse always wondered why you stayed at his side, knowing you could do so much better, but he didn't show it; showing weakness wasn't his style.

Exactly this was on his mind as he was driving back to his home, with you probably waiting for him. It was good he was being honest with you from the start, with all the business he was doing and the bad past he went trough he wasn't up to dealing with another one blowing her brains out.

Parking his Chrysler into his driveway and getting out, waltzing up the marble steps to the front door, he entered his house, and he could see the lights in the kitchen on. You were a night owl and sleeping early wasn't your thing.

Hearing footsteps approach you, you turned from preparing the carbonara spaghetti towards the source of the sound, a big smile forming on your face as you saw Jesse, walking towards him and taking his big form into an embrace, burying your face into his chest, inhaling his expensive cologne and manly musk.

"I missed you, Jesse." you murmured, standing on your toes and pulling the tall man into a kiss, which he reciprocated with his natural enthusiasm.

These words made his chest tighten, and his long arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you as close to him as possible. Later on, his subconscious always nagged him, talk about being at war with himself.

'Yes, she loves you now, but what will happen when she meets someone that will give her what she truly needs; a normal life, jerk. Maybe someone who doesn't look how he truly is on the inside; ugly motherfucker killer.'

He furrowed as these words replayed again in his head, and you noticed the change on his face. You pulled away and went to finish off the food, setting it up on two plates, knowing how hungry Jesse must be after the....'workout'.

"I made some late dinner. Thought you would need it and while we eat you can tell me what's bothering you." you said, getting one of his favorite scotch bottles from the liquor cabinet.

His single brown eye widened, that you noticed he had something on his mind. He had to give you some points, you could read him like an open book when he had a bad mood. He sat down on the chair at the table, the warm food smelt absolutely mouth-watering and he began to eat, as you did so, after pouring two glasses of the fine scotch.

"So? Rough night?" you asked, after swallowing the food.

'Not that worse.' he signed, taking a sip of the scotch.

"Not gonna tell me what's eating at your back?" you asked, with a raised eyebrow.

'Do you really wanna know?'

"Of course. You're my boyfriend, my lover. Want me to get more synonyms?" you said in a sassy voice, making Jesse chuckle silently.

Ahh yes, your sassy and sarcastic self, a reason for why he was enamored with you. You were a hard-headed woman and he loved it.

'I guess, I've been thinking you could do so much better.' he signed with reluctant moves of his hands, making you furrow your eyebrows and look at him in confusion.

"What are you exactly saying?"

'Let's face it, [Name]. I'm not really the Prince Charming and I'm sure most guys would love to be in my shoes. I'm a beast, in and out. Take it however you like, but you shouldn't bother yourself with me and destroy your life.' he signed, getting up and moving away, your eyes wide open.

Of course, you could predict it would get to this, reading Jesse was easy and anyone with his face would feel so too, but you weren't a shallow person. You got up from your chair, your bold attitude coming out of its shell.

"Stop it right there!" you said with authority, making Jesse stop and turn to look at you, ready to sign something, but a halting finger of yours stopped him.

"I don't wanna hear it. Look, I know it's not easy for you, but I wanna let you know that when I decided to start this relationship with you, I also decided that I will go through good and bad times." you started, walking up to him, your tone was firm, but your eyes spoke of softness.

"See this?" you said, pointing to your face, making him look at you with confusion.

"This pretty face is gonna get wrinkles in some years, and by the time I hit 60, if I'm lucky enough to live that long, I'm gonna look like an old hag." you said, making Jesse smile a little in amusement.

"What matters is what is deep inside. I know you can be sometimes self-absorbed, surprisingly narcissistic, and brutal. You are not Prince Charming, because that would be a cheap lie, but you're also very sweet when you want to be, you always make me laugh with your dark sense of humor and sassy signing, you listen to my problems and you always surprise me, making me feel like a queen." you continued, walking upright in front of him, your eyes looking into his own.

"Your face is scarred, but I can see behind it, your sharp jawline, your toothy cheeky grin, and that brown eye that makes my knees melt when I look into it." you finished, and you wish you could take a photo right now because shocked Jesse was pure gold.

Before you knew it, a pair of lips crashed down onto yours, so much adoration and passion were put into it, and instinctively your arms wrapped around his neck, his hands grasping your waist.

When the need for air was too much you pulled away, looking at Jesse's serious face.

'I don't know what I did to deserve you.' he signed slowly, seeing that soft side of the behemoth of a man that was your lover.

"Everyone deserves some love." you whispered, cupping his scarred cheek, his skin rough on your soft hand.

"Besides, I always had a thing for rough and rugged men." you said with a cheeky smile, humor cracking into your words, making Jesse smirk and before you knew it, he throws you over his large shoulder, marching upstairs to your shared bedroom.

"Hey, Hey! Put me down, you big child of a man!" you said, laughing a little at his crazy antics.

He opened the door with one hand and laid you down on the king-sized bed you both shared.

'I've been away for one month. Don't argue with me now.' he signed, moving on top of you and kissing you breathlessly.

"Not a word." you murmured, reciprocating the kiss back.

Yes, Jesse was an insecure man, but you were always up to be his personal cheerleader.

[emablckthrn]

This is what I write at 2am in the morning:

The Shadowhunters chronicles a summary:

Cordelia: *is in love with James*.

James : *is in love with grace*

James when Cordelia reads to him and takes care of him while he’s sick: oh shit.

James: *is NOT in love with grace*.

Grace puts bracelet on James.

James: shit I’m in love with grace again.

Cordelia: *still in love with james*

James burns down blackthorn manor.

Cordelia to the clave: James didn’t burn down black thorn manor. He was with me aLl NiGhT.

The whole council: oH sHiT.

Tatiana: *is going crazy*

Later in the drawing room.

James: Marry me Cordelia.

Cordelia: *shocked*

James: it’s pretend though... only a year.

Everyone: oH sHiT, iTs FoR rEaL.

Later.

Matthew: I’m in love with Cordelia.

Magnus: why am I here.

Matthew: fuck James, I don’t NEED to tell him... do I? No

Lucie: I have to write this down!

Cordelia and James: oNlY fOr A yEar!

Ragnar at the end of qoaad: I am alive and I didn’t die.

Still ragnor: that sounded cool I’m gonna put that on a t-shirt.

Simon: ragnor is weird why would I make a t-shirt that says Simon is alive and well.

Julian: fuck the clave.

Mark: *is respecting telephone poles like they are real women*

Magnus: always helping the herondales for no damn reason. *Edmund, will, James, and Jace. Like Magnus it’s OK*

*James shoots the the chandelier out in a bet with rAgNoR*

Magnus: don’t worry Imma walk you home stupid ass bitch. Don’t mind me.

*Magnus being a full time dad for the herondales*

Thomas: i think I’m in love with Alastair but I’m not gonna show it. Instead I’m going to confront him and be rude to him. That’ll show him.

Alastair: fuck you Charles. *hangs out with Thomas for a week in Paris*

Sebastian: is in love with clary. ThAtS iNcEsT. gggrrrooOOOOosssSSSS.

Jace is in love with clary while they think they are siblings: this is perfectly fine. Magnus said it’s a good way to cope with my dramatic issues.

Magnus: JAcE I did not say anything like that.

Clary: I LiKe To DrAw.

Simon while he’s a vampire: ALL HALE RAPHAEL SANTIAGO. what a legend.

Magnus: *names his fucking child after Raphael for no reason*

RAPHAEL SANTIAGO, WHAT A LEGEND.

Valentine: imma summon sum demons out here in Idris don’t mine me.

Valentine: SeBaStIaN yOU mOtHeRFucKeR, GeT yOuR aSs AwAy FrOm clary aND come and HeLp Me!!!

Alec: *bullying clary*.

Jace: hEY Alec. Get awAY from my girl!

Emma in the middle of qoaad: gotta give Alec his tapestry back from the inquisitors office.

Emma: *carrys a large ass tapestry of Alec lightwood through the streets of Alicante in the middle of a war.*

Emma brings it to inquisitors house: here Magnus I think you might want this.

Magnus: shit Emma why did you bring this over here?

Grace: I tHiNk I aM gOiNg To MaKe mAtThew KiSs Me.

Matthew kisses her: what the hell just happened I didn’t just do that.

Grace: well I think im gonna tell james you did this. Bye now!

Jesse: no Lucie!

Lucie: yes Jesse, this is perfectly fine way to get into danger!

Jesse: shit... ok, that makes it better.

Lucie: thankyou very much!

Ty: I’m GoInG tO bRiNg LiVvY bAcK tO LiFe.

Ty: necroMaNCY is the way tO gOoOoO.

Kit: nOoOo tY you can’t do this. I’m iN lOvE wItH yOu! It’s tOoO dangerOuS.

Ty: fuck you out I’m doing it anyway! I don’t need your help.

Ty: *knocks kit out and gets Livvy’s ghost back*.

Kit: what the fuck ty.

Kit: eh. who cares. Livvy is BaCcKkkkK.

LiVvY iS bAcKkKKkkKk.

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

Solar Opposites: The Ultra Opposites: Ophelia’s Last Attack Pt. 2 (for @avaveevo )

The rest of the Ultra Opposites made it to the castle until suddenly, the guards surrounded them.

Terry/Solar Flare: Oh shit! noticing the color patterns Shoot, they’re in color sync! What do we do now!

???: I know how!

Suddenly, Sherbet, now with a violet colored super hero outfit with a rainbow heart on for the chest part, leaps up from behind and changes colors to distract the guards.

Sherbet/Violet: Here! Let the rainbow remind you of something painful!

The guards got distracted and gets kicked and punched by Sherbet as they fell unconscious.

Terry/Solar Flare: Uh, who is that?

AISHA: We’ll explain later! Right now, you and the new recruits go kick the rest of the guards’ asses. The rest of the Ultra Opposites and I will help Legendary Super Shlorpian, Psylock and Electra deal with Ophelia and help get Korvo’s powers back!

Terry/Solar Flare: Thanks guys! Here, let Solar Flare show you guys the way of stopping motherfucking bad guys!

Solar Flare then transforms back into his Mundane form and throws fireballs at the guards as Jaime, Darcy and Sherbet join in the fight. Meanwhile, back with Ophelia, she laughs evilly as Korvo wipes his tears and decided to fight for Terry’s life as he gets back up.

Korvo/The Legendary Super Shlorpian: You…you…you…YOU KILLED HIM! YOU KILLED THE ONLY SHLORPIAN I EVER LOVED!!!

Ophelia: Too bad.

Korvo/The Legendary Super Shlorpian: Stealing my power was one thing but THIS?! YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS YOU MONSTER!

Battle Song Plays:

Despite losing his powers, Korvo continues fighting for Terry’s life. He got his sword and reflects it Ophelia’s green ice breath as he kept going.

Yumyulack/Psylock: Korvo! Be careful!

Jesse/Electra: Don’t let her hurt you!

Janiz flies up and sees Korvo in trouble as she gasp. She growls and quickly flies over to help her brother. Meanwhile, Kevin helps everyone get to safety.

Kevin: Hurry people! Get to safety!

Once the citizens made it back to the shelter safety. Kevin sees lighting coming from Ophelia’s lair and decided to go help his new teammates. Kevin ran off until his wife called him.

Kevin’s Wife: Kevin?! We are you going!

Kevin: The Ultra Opposites need my help! I have to go help them!

Kevin’s Wife: What?! Are you crazy?!

Kevin: Trust me honey! It’s time I do a responsible mature thing in my life! I have to go help my friends!

Kevin’s wife smile and kiss Kevin on the cheek.

Kevin’s Wife: Don’t die on me, you sweet idiotic dummy!

Kevin: I won’t honey.

Kevin runs off to Ophelia’s lair as Kevin’s wife and kids get to safety. Back with the rest of the Ultra Opposites, the heroes race up to the lair.

Montez/The Master: Taste psychic, motherfuckers!

Master uses his psychic powers to blast the guards away. Cherie then uses her martial arts skills and karate chop the guards. Shadow Lady uses her weaponry and shocks the guards with a spike sword. Super Cooke uses his laser eyes to shoot the guards. They then made it to the lair as they are overjoyed but two muscular guards appear.

Nova/Lady Roseus: Don’t worry, I got this! Gift!

Lady Roseus uses her gift powers and shows the guards their deepest desires, which allows her to knock them out as they scream.

Cherie/Agent Red: Nice job Lady Roseus! Let’s head in!

Once they enter, they see Korvo fighting Ophelia but despite her being powerful, Korvo kept on fighting.

Korvo: This is really out of control Ophelia?! What is your problem with me?!

Ophelia shoots an orb at him.

Ophelia: Your family is what stands between me and my plans to conquer all the planets!

Ophelia fires her ice breath at Korvo, who ducks.

Ophelia: How about you, Korvo? Wouldn't you give up your life for your sweet Terry’s happiness?

Korvo: Do you really think that this is what my family want? To discover that their husband/father has fucking lost his powers a goddamn psycho supervillain, willing to let innocent people pay the price for his madness

Ophelia: You would do the same thing!

Korvo: Never! Unlike you, I have made my peace with it. I’m not living in the past. I have my whole life ahead of him! You'd know this if you ever took an interest in me. But in reality, your people means nothing to you anymore! You've locked everyone in your wrath. Locked them in your Alliance Rings! Locked them into a life that allows you to hide behind him in order to justify your madness!

Ophelia: snarls I sure it was the right thing!

Ophelia grabs Korvo by the throat, but then Janiz shows up.

Korvo: Janiz?

Jesse/Electra: No way! You can turn into a Super Shlorpian too?! Awesome!

Yumyulack: Plus you look great in pink!

Super Shlorpian Janiz: Let Korvo go, Ophelia.

Ophelia: You DARE to order ME?!

Super Shlorpian Janiz: I said LET! HIM! GO!

Janiz uses her ice breath to fire at Ophelia. The two female super Shlorpians continue to fight. Korvo, looking at his sister, thinks about his memories with Terry, his eyes starts glowing, which causes some the energy from Ophelia to exit from her headband.

Ophelia: What?! No it can’t be!

Yumyulack/Psylock and Jesse/Electra knock out the guards and jump up to help Korvo. The rest of the human Ultra Opposites made it and are shock by what is happening.

Ophelia: He’s still connected to his powers. But, that’s impossible.

Montez/The Master: What’s going on?!

Principal Cooke/Super Cooke: I don’t know! Maybe it’s a Shlorpian thing!

Korvo regains his super suit as his body starts glowing.

Miss Frankie/Shadow Lady: This is so not a Shlorpian thing!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Give him back. Give...him...BACK!!!

Legendary Super Shlorpian leaps up as he flies up and directs his fist towards Ophelia!

Ophelia: Where did he gets punch by Korvo Go!

Korvo punches Ophelia and then leaps up. The rest of the human Ultra Opposites are amazed by Korvo fighting Ophelia, even with his most of his powers not regain most of his powers. Korvo kept on fighting Ophelia, until she knocked him to the ground.

Ophelia: Any last words, Super Shlorpian?

Korvo: sees the crystal on Ophelia’s forehead and sees his chance Eat this! Bitch!

Korvo smashes the crystal and Ophelia screams as it helps Korvo absorbs his powers back into him.

Yumyulack/Psylock: gasp

Jesse/Electra: Did it work?!

Korvo transforms back into his super hero form and then into his Super Shlorpian form as he roars and flies up in joy.

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: tears of joy Yes! It worked! God, it feels so good to be me again!

Suddenly…

Terry/Solar Flare: having transformed back with his super suit on runs up to his sweet hubby with Pupa, Firey, Miss Darcia and Violet Korvo! Korvo!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Terry? hugs Terry You’re alive! Oh thank goodness!

Psylock, Electra and Pupa walks up to their dads and hugs them with Lady Super Shlorpian as Dark Matter, Shadow Lady, Super Cooke, Agent Red, The Master, Lady Roseus, Ultra Man, Firey, Miss Darcina and Violet smiles at them.

Terry/Solar Flare: Jaime and Darcy caught me just in time! Did you get your powers back?!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Jaime? Darcy?

The rest of the Ultra Opposites look and sees now Jaime, Darcy and Sherbet the new Ultra Opposites.

Jaime/Firey: Hey!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Damn. You guys too?! Wait, what are your names?!

Darcy/Miss Darcina: Well, since I have the power of muscle growth, I’m thinking, MISS DARCINA!

Jaime: And since I have powers of fire, I think Firey.

The others look at Firey in awkward silence while exchanging weird awkward looks at him.

Miss Frankie/Shadow Lady: Really? I honestly feel bad. You deserve a better name than that.

Jaime/Firey: Eh? Well, to be honest, I couldn’t come up with any other name so, I decided Firey would be the best choice.

Daryl/Dark Matter: Damn.

Jesse/Electra: Wait, points to Sherbet who this girl?

Cherie/Agent Red: Sherbet?

Sherbet/Violet: Call me Violet! Because, I can change colors at full will!

Ultra Opposites: Ooh!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Why is your superhero name Violet anyway?

Sherbet/Violet: Because Lady Roseus was already taken.

Nova/Lady Roseau giggles amusingly.

Yumyulack/Psylock: notices Ophelia gone Oh no! Ophelia escaped!

Ultra Opposites: Gasp

Janiz/Lady Super Shlorpian: Oh shit! She is gonna try to take Korvo’s powers again!

Sherbet/Violet: Oh no! What the fuck do we do now?!

Terry/Solar Flare: We go stop her! Now!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Solar Flare’s right! We don’t have fucking times for this now!

AISHA: Fuck yeah! Let’s do this!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Ultra Opposites, let’s go kick that motherfucking Empress’ ass!

The Ultra Opposites cheered as they fly up to go stop Ophelia! Ophelia made it up the rooftop.

Ophelia: This isn’t over! Time to-

Suddenly, her headband gets knocked out of her head as it falls to the ground and shatters into pieces.

Ophelia: No!

Terry/Solar Flare: It’s over Ophelia! Turn everyone you turn into foot soldiers back to the way they really are!

Ophelia turns and gasp in horror upon seeing more of the Ultra Opposites and Solar Flare alive!

Ophelia: What?! No no! You’re alive?! But how?! And there are more of you?!

Daryl/Dark Matter: Fuck yeah bitch!

Terry/Solar Flare: Hell yeah! Now we’re gonna end this once and for all!

Opehlia: To think I actually killed you!

Terry/Solar Flare: Just nearly though!

Solar Flare, transforms back into his Mundane form as he roars, throws his fire balls at Ophelia, which burns her right hand. Legendary Super Shlorpian and Lady Super Shlorpian combines their powers to use their ice breath on Ophelia. Ophelia slips and Psylock, Dark Matter and The Master use their psychic powers to brain wave attack Ophelia as she screams. Electra growls and uses her electric wrecking ball to fling Ophelia towards Shadow Lady and Agent Red who uses their martial skills to high kick Ophelia towards Super Cooke who uses his laser eyes to shock Ophelia.

Ophelia: God damn it!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Now Firey!

Firey uses his flame blast to stop Ophelia who tries to use her sphere, but then gets punched by Miss Darcina. Violet switches into light green and high kicks Ophelia. Randall uses his super strength to throw a brick wall at Ophelia who dodges it, but then gets hit by a fire breath by Kevin, now with his own super suit.

Kevin/Super Kevin: Looks like you ran into Super Kevin!

Terry/Solar Flare: Kevin! No way!

Principal Cooke/Super Cooke: Nice suit pal! But, a little help?!

Super Kevin uses his fire breath as Ophelia screams.

Yumyulack/Psylock: Thanks Super Kev.

Kevin/Super Kevin: No problem neighbors.

Ophelia then falls towards Lady Roseus, who gives the villainess a death stare.

Ophelia: Oh, it’s you! What are you going to do?!

Terry/Solar Flare: Nova! Now!

Nova/Lady Roseus: Got it! Gift!

Jesse/Electra: What does it do?

Korvo/The Legendary Super Shlorpian: It shows the person’s greatest desire.

Lady Roseus uses her gift and shows Ophelia’s desire which has distracted while Psylock uses his mind reading powers to read her mind and figures out how to stop her.

Nova/Lady Roseus: Now!

Psylock finished using mind reading powers and the Ultra Opposites group huddle.

Yumyulack/Psylock: Guys! I found out her weakness! We need combine all of our powers to stop her once and for all.

Terry/Solar Flare: You sure about that?! What if it doesn’t work?!

Korvo/Legendary Super Shlorpian: Psylock’s right! It’s our only chance! Let’s do this!

The heroes form a circle around Ophelia as they start charging up their powers and their bodies starts glowing.

Ophelia: You think you pathetic Ultra Opposites can stop me?!

Terry/Solar Flare: Not when there’s one of us! But, we all can!

The Ultra Opposites combine their powers that created a huge beam that shoots at Ophelia as the heroes’ eyes light up.

Ophelia: No. No. No. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The evil empress screams as the beam shatters her to pieces. The whole background goes white which fades towards three months later at the Solar Opposites’ house. Terry, in his human form, was laying on the ground until Korvo, in his human form, kisses him on the lips. The two husbands smile at each other while their children, newfound family friends and family were hanging out. Then, the news came on.

Human Yumyulack: Hey guys! It’s starting!

News Reporter: on tv Good morning GeenasDavisVille! We are today with Dr. Janiz, talking about a new highway rail.

Human Janiz: Thank you sir. Ever since the Ultra Opposites have defeated the dark empress Ophelia. We now have a stable environment where no even can get by. But there are some new threats out there. But wherever they are, the Ultra Opposites will never leave us! They’ll always be there for us when danger comes!

Later, Korvo and Terry were enjoying the sunset at the park while sitting on the bench.

Human Terry: Well Korvo, now that Ophelia is gone, we’ll have worry of you losing your powers.

Human Korvo: At first I never wanted them. Because, I was scared about hurting people. That I was a monster. But I was wrong. Those powers really are amazing. I got full control and I’m not afraid of that anymore. And it was thanks to the Shlorpian I fell in love with.

Human Korvo and Human Terry: I love you.

The two husbands blush and shared a kiss while Yumyulack, Jesse and the Pupa smile. Two weeks later, the four Ultra Opposites are on the rooftop of a tall building as they look done at the city.

Terry/Solar Flare: Nothing like a beautiful day to kick ass.

The rest of the Ultra Opposites meet up as they smile at their friends and after Terry transforms into his Mundane form and Korvo and Janiz transforms into their super Shlorpian forms, the newly formed super heroes spring into action with an awesome sci-fi background.

The End

[trashcatsnark]

FC5 GFH: Deputy Dahlia Hale

I was tagged by the awesome @shallow-gravy, to do this uhhhhhh a while ago, but this took a lot of time. I will be tagging @enchantedbythebidders and @kizucute and @madsismad if any of you want to, and anyone who wants to do it please do!

TW: A dark humor jokey mention of suicide, cause my baby is a depressed dumbass

Selected as GFH:

               “Coming your way, mon cher.”

               “You got it.”

               “Won’t let you down.”

Combat

           Seeing Threat:

                               “Peggies, up ahead.”

                               “Careful, enemy spotted.”

                               “Watch out, cultists.”

               Stealth/being told to go stealth:

                               “Good thinkin’”

                               “Stay low.”

                               “We got this.”

               In Combat with Peggies:

                               “Fuck oFF!”

                               “Is that all you got?”

                               “C’mon, you can do better than that.”

               Pushing an Enemy Down:

                               “Stay down.”

                               “Eat shit.”  

                               “Pathetic.”

               Killing an Enemy:

                               “Where’s your god, now?”

                               “I told you not to fuck with me.”

                               “Lights out, motherfucker!”

               Post Combat:

                               “Just what I needed, more blood on my hands.”

                               “Well, that was exciting.”

                               “I need a smoke...”

               When she’s hurt/dying:

                               “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.”

                               “I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m okay,shit,fuck.”

                               “No pressure, but I’m kinda dying here!”

Thanking Player:

               “Fuck, I owe you one.”

               “Seriously, thanks.”

               “Anything I can do to thank ya?”

Reviving Player:

               “No dying on me, mon cher.”

               “Stay strong, we can do this.”

               “C’mon, we can’t do this without you.”

Player Points Weapon at her;

               “You got a fuckin’ problem with me?”

               “Put that down, before I make you.”

               “If you’re looking for a fight, I’ll give you one.”

Player Attacks her:

               “We’re on the same side, asswipe.”

               “Fine, you know what, let’s go, asshole!”

               “You really think you can take me?”

Has to Kill Player:

               “Traitor.”

               “I thought we were friends…”

               “I didn’t want to do this.”

 Idle:

               “Everyone looks at me weird when I call them mon cher, but I swear it’s just a thing we say in Louisiana, at least where I’m from.”

               “People keep talking about when things are back to normal. But, that’s not how it works. Trauma lingers, trust me, none of us are gonna be the same after this.”

               “Quite frankly, I don’t give a damn if the world is ending. If the world dies, I’ll die with it. Better than living in some freak’s bunker.”

               “Guns are cool and all, but nothing beats a proper fist fight, knife fights are a close second though.”

               “I wanna smoke so bad, but everywhere smell like gasoline and I don’t wanna go up in flames, at least not right now.”

 Holland Valley:

               “John’s real fucked in the head, but when he loses his cool is when he starts making mistakes, he’ll get sloppy and we can take the valley back.”

               “Something about John never sat right with me, he’s so fake, feels more like a mannequin than a real person. Pissing him off is pretty fun though.”

               “John’s capture parties are annoying, but they aren’t as well trained as Jacob’s hunters, I managed to dodge the fuckers for days. Actually? Are they still after me?”

 Henbane River:

               “God I fucking hate this place, the way it fucks with your head is just ugh. Damn that Church Mouse.”

               “Like, how does this shit even make sense? I know Bliss fucks up your head, but how can they control what we see? Like, not everyone on an LSD trip sees the same thing. Is it the power of suggestion or, I mean Faith can’t be an actual siren, can she?”

               “You know, I use to not get why everyone was so fixated on how pretty Faith was, too delicate for my taste I guess. But now that I know she can kick ass, not gonna lie, little more into it. Uh, don’t tell anyone I said that though, please.”

 Whitetail Mountains:

               “You think Jacob quotes that alpha omega wolf bullshit? I bet he does, shit ain’t even true, scientist who said it took it back.”

               “Jakey Boy’s gonna pay for what he’s doing to Pratt and I’m gonna make damn sure of it.”

               “Big Red out here is obsessed with creating soldiers, the ultimate tools, he uses people like it’s nothing. If you’re not careful, he’ll get in your head and use you like a puppet.”  

 Joseph’s Compound:

               “Where it all began, blegh, I wish I could have kicked Joe’s ass right then.”

               “You know I came here for church once, just to check it out, I puked behind the church. Hope that fucker stepped in it.”

               “Joseph preaches this bullshit about welcoming misfits, outcasts, pariahs of society. Every peggie is someone who didn’t feel like they belonged anywhere else, they think he saved them. But, you wanna know the truth? Joseph Seed preyed on them. He saw they were vulnerable and he swooped in like a fucking vulture to eat ‘em alive. And they thank him for it.”

 Dutch’s Island:

               “Dutch is ornery old man, makes me wonder why he ain’t out here fighting with us.”

               “Bunker man Dutch knows everything about everyone, also got camera all around, it’d be creepy if he wasn’t such a cool guy.”

 Falls End:

               “Mary May is a grade-A badass, don’t let the baby face fool ya.”

               “Hudson, Pratt, and I use to hang out at The Spread Eagle after work, almost every day, it’s weird going there without them now.”

               “Jerome is officially the only holy man I trust, everyone else can get fucked.”

 Wolfs Den:

               “Eli is incredible, seriously, I don’t know what we’d do without him. He’s just, so fuckin’ awesome, I-uh, that sounds weirdly gushy doesn’t it. It’s not like, I just- He’s a cool dude, shut up!”

               “Every time Eli compliments me, I could scream, like in a good way.”

               “You think we could hook up the beacons to blast Wheaty’s music? Be better than those weird animal moans for sure.”

 Hope County Jail:

               “May sound weird coming from a deputy, but, uh, I kinda figured I’d be in jail someday.”

               “Whitehorse has always been like the station’s dad, having him here means a lot.”

               “Virgil means well, but I’m pretty sure he’s on Tracey’s last nerve.”

  With Boomer;

               *in cutesy voice* “Who’s the cutest boy in the whole wide world, that’s right, you are!~”

               “Any peggies hurt Boomer and they’re gonna get my boot up their ass.”

               “Sorry, bud, I ain’t got any treats on me.”

 With Peaches:

               “You wanna see me carry a cougar?”

               “Ahhh, she’s so fuckin’ cute, she could claw my face off and I’d thank her.”

               *Meows back at Peaches*

 With Cheeseburger:

               “Awwwwwwwww, you’re so cute, so beautiful, what a precious boy!~”

               “Do you think I could pick him up?”

               “What’s new, Paddington?” *Cheeseburger growsl* “Oh, I’m sorry bro, that’s rough.”

 When paired with Sharky:

               “He is the fire boy; he is the one ignites. That was a dumb joke, please ignore me.”

               “Set me on fire and we’re gonna have problems, Boshaw.”

               “Wait, you had a job, Sharky?! Uh, that sounded mean, didn’t it? Sorry…”

 When paired with Adelaide: (anytime Addie says anything sexual) “Please stop, please stop, please stop, please stop.”

               “Any hole? What the hell does that mea-I don’t wanna know, do I?”

               “I still don’t get what you saw in Hurk Sr, but I’m damn glad you got out of that mess.”

 When paired with Hurk Jr.:

               “So, not a stealth mission, got ya.”

               “I’m gonna kill you, Hurk, seriously.”

               “Why do you smell like beer? Are you drinking right now? Seriously!?”

 When paired with Jess:                “Arrows are cool and all, but being able to beat the fuck out of a peggie is way more satisfying, you can fight me on that, mon cher.”

               “Hey, Jess, you think any of these stores have working slushie machines?”

               “You got any idea what you’re gonna do after all this? Pff, me neither.”

 When paired with Grace:

               “I never got to meet your dad, but he sounds like an incredible man.”

               “You know a lot about PTSD, right? We’re all gonna be fucked up after this, aren’t we?”

               “Could I theoretically pay you to blow my brains out? Yeah, yeah, not funny, I know.”

 When paired with Nick:

               “Don’t do anything dumb, man. Kim and that baby need you.”

               “One more pun and I’m climbing in that plane to kick your ass.”

               “You and Kim are adorable, seriously.”

[echolocati0n-art]

Kingdom Keepers Incorrect quotes from when I wrote them out on twitter a year ago

Finn: Why is Willa sitting on your head? 

Philby: She likes to be tall.

~~~

Charlene: You really need to relax. 

Philby, in the middle of a meltdown: But how can ice cream be birthday cake flavor when birthday cake can be ANY flavor?!?!

~~~

Willa: I’ve conquered my fear of ghosts. 

Jess: That’s the spirit! 

Willa: Oh fuck, where?

~~~

Charlene: Treat spiders how you would like to be treated. 

Willa: Killed without hesitation.

~~~

Finn: Real talk, though. Do y'all think I can fit 15 marshmallows into my mouth?

Philby: You’re a hazard to society. 

Maybeck: And a coward. Do 20.

~~~

WiIla: Good morning. 

Finn: Good morning. 

Charlene: Good morning. 

Philby: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit. 

Maybeck, bursting in through the wall: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS-

~~~

Finn: Guess what I’m about to get. 

Amanda: On my nerves.

~~~

Maybeck: Aren’t you sugar and spice and everything nice. 

Charlene: Well, aren’t you rudeness and sarcasm and everything… uhhh

Maybeck: No, go on. You find something that rhymes with sarcasm and makes sense, and I’ll take the fall tonight.

~~~

Philby: If you bite it and die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, its venomous. 

Charlene: What if it bites me and it dies? 

Willa: Then youre poisonous 

Finn: What if it bites itself and I die? 

Jess: That’s voodoo 

Amanda: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Philby: That’s corralation, not causation. 

Mattie: What if we bite eachother, and neither of us die? 

Maybeck: That’s kinky ;)